Just Because Its Funny

Quote

Talking about YouTube - Yelle "ACDG" Remix Electro VaVan Treaxy St4nl3y94.sky

Something Big

I just finished one of the most inspiring books I've ever read in my life. It is called "Together on Top of the World" by Phil and Susan Ershler. The Ershler's live in the Seattle area and are good friends with the CEO of my company who gave me the book. The true story is about Phil and Susan's life together - first as individuals then as a married couple who climbed the seven peaks of the world together (the highest peak on each continent... including Everest).

The story is raw with emotion, devastation, perseverance, success. Underneath the overwhelming success of climbing the most difficult terrain in the world, Phil and Sue combated multiple bouts of cancer and deaths of parents and fellow climbers. This is an amazing story of healing, survival and the journey of going after a dream with unrelenting pursuit.

All of this to say that I have desire within to do something BIG. To leave a legacy worth remembering. To live as much and as hard as I can... with no regrets. There is passion deep within that has yet to be defined and pursued after. It is the pathway of taking on a challenge. To see how far I can push myself to achieve a goal. I know I have it in me... and it has yet to be tapped into. I feel restless inside. I have all year. Maybe now is the time to take some steps forward... toward something bigger than I ever dreamed I could achieve....

Let it Snow, Let it Snow

Wow! I still cannot believe how much snow we have gotten here in the Seattle area! This is just insane! Just thought I'd post a few pictures for everyone to see :) Enjoy!

This is my parents' house in Redmond. Currently they have about 22'' of snow! Crazy! That's also my cute red car in the driveway. It barely made it all the way from Seattle.

 Me :) Don't I look happy in the snow? 

Green Lake! It is SO cold outside that even the lake has started to freeze over. Maybe if it continues to stay cold we will be able to ice skate on the lake...well...maybe :)

Hope everyone continues to stay warm!

A Refusal to Demise

There are times when the earth shifts and allows us to glimpse the groans and pain in this world through different perspective. It is in these monumental but subtle moments that we as passersby either "see" or remain "blind" to truth. And often times, these moments leave us with a question we must wrestle with and "deal" with in our own hearts and minds. These moments either unveil an introspective prompting that moves us to act on truth and grace OR these moments mark our own lack of responsiveness and action to the needs and pain in this world. What we do with these glimpses into time and reality reflect who we are and reveal if we are being who God has called each of us to uniquely be. 

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Today I was given a gift. I was allowed into a reality different than my own for a short moment in time. And I don't know what to do with it. I refuse to let it pass by without a moments thought as so many people would do. I want it to effect me. I want it to effect my actions and how I live my own life.

On my way to work, I passed by an older couple. The woman was dressed in drab clothing and supported herself on a walker. She seemed to hide behind her glasses as she hunched over, taking one small step after another. Her face marked pain and suffering and it made my heart ache with unknowing sympathy. Bitterness and resolution seemed to pour from her soul and displayed emptiness as her reality.

The man, on the other hand, though dressed in mismatched garments, had a smile on his face. He wore goggles like those you would wear during high school science class. He cuddled a teddy bear under his left arm as he waved his walking stick to the left and right - for he was blind. Yet there was something different about him. Some may choose to believe that perhaps he may have "lost his marbles" - or his sanity. But I felt something different. Peace and resilience seemed to emanate through his suffering and circumstance... And there was that smile. There was something different in that smile. It was a knowing smile... and it made me want to know the truth behind it. 

Though the man was blind, it was apparent that he saw more to life than the woman who had eyes to see. In many ways, the man was shut off to the world and restricted by his inability to experience color, shapes and movement. Yet, it was obvious that he had a joy and peace that the woman did not know. A knowing of something bigger than himself... perhaps of a grace and a love given selflessly and purposefully for all mankind.

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I refuse to be the woman plagued by her circumstances and kept in a bondage of bitterness and self-pity. Instead, I will be all that God has created me to be... with newfound freedom in Christ and a knowing smile in hope that I may reflect the true nature of our perfect and wonderful Lord for all to see.

What will you choose to be?

Christmas is a coming

How are you going to prepare this year?

Promoting Challenges

So, hello. While I continue to be slammed in the busyness compartment, I just have to tell you a story... 

Last Friday I woke up tired and a little disgruntled as I over-slept my alarm AGAIN. And of course this left me pressed for time and in no mood to go to work to greet my never-ending To-Do List that multiplies by exponential numbers every day. Alas, I got my butt into gear and ran out the door just in time to catch my bus and make it into work on time. Way to go Me.

After pumping myself up to T.I's Whatever You Like on my iPod, I get to work and settle in to the overwhelming amount of emails in my inbox (I mean come on people! It's eight in the morning! Why do I have SO many emails already??).

Then, my phone rings. I see on my caller ID that it is Mr. CEO. I get a little nervous. I answer.

"Dawn. 'Mr. CEO' here. Can you come down to my office?"

"*#*$&!!" (first initial thought). "Dawn don't swear!" (second thought).

So, I walk down to his office trying to rack my brain about what I did wrong. I can't think of a thing, which makes me even more nervous! You see, here's the thing... I work with Mr. CEO a lot. I have developed a pretty good working relationship with him. I'm comfortable being myself, offering my opinions when appropriate and sticking up for what I believe in. The thing is, whenever Mr. CEO has needed to talk to me one-on-one, he has always made the trek down to my office. He has come to me. But last Friday, he asked me to go to him. Again I ask, what did I do wrong?!

I get to his office and he asks me to sit down at his conference table. I sit. He shuts the door.

"*$&W*!!"

"Dawn stop swearing!!"

"Am I getting fired? Laid off?!"

Mr. CEO reaches for a folder, and takes out an envelop and a piece of paper. My life flashes before my eyes.

And then he begins... "Dawn, you've been doing an exceptional job around here and I like to reward those who step up to challenges."

Are you serious?!! Relief flows from my brain to my toes as I begin processing the words that are coming out of his mouth. Oh my gosh. I didn't do anything wrong... I'm doing something right?!

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To make what could be a long and drawn out story short, last Friday I received a promotion. And gosh does it feel good! 

Thank you Mr. CEO for giving me opportunities and challenges that most people my age would NEVER encounter. Thank you for giving me a chance to do something bigger than I ever imagined I could. 

And gosh. Am I succeeding at this thing called life? Maybe in at least this one area... 

Absently Flying By

So...its been a while since I've posted anything...

This absence has been caused by two main things...

• Busyness like you've never known busy before... 
• And a lack of amazingly awesome ideas to write about... or maybe a realization that some things I write about are dumb...

In any case, I feel compelled to write something. So I guess here you go. This is it. And yes...maybe this is dumb...

PS: I really am super busy right now though. Let's just say that yesterday I got home from work at 6pm...ate dinner in like fifteen minutes...and continued working until about 10pm. 

And then I went to sleep.

Sometimes you just gotta...

DANCE!

That's right! Sometimes when you're feeling tired, feeling energized, feeling drained, feeling happy, feeling crazy, feeling that you just have to do something.... in all these times... sometimes you just have to dance :)

And that's exactly what my roommate and I did last night in our living room. It was 10PM and all the world around us seemed to be going to bed. But we couldn't ignore the calling to let loose... it was a requirement of last night's need to just simply be. 

And so we danced... for like an hour... in our living room.... with no inhibitions. And can I just say that we are talking like full force dancing - the type of dancing where you just move your body while not caring one bit whether it looks cool or whatever. All you care about is the fact that you are moving with the beat... no... you are the beat and so you move simply because you must. There's no way to stop it. And it is amazing!!

Anyway... we've decided that spontaneous dance parties are what make this world complete :) Without them, life would be awfully boring :) We've also decided that we need to work on creating an amazing dance party playlist... so if anyone has any good ideas on songs that are amazing to dance to... PLEASE let me know.

Because I can sincerely say, that last night's dance party won't be the last... it was the beginning of a really great thing... :)

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Sidenote... here's another testament that sometimes people just HAVE to dance... check this out...  Funk Blast ... these are some of my crazy friends... thank you YouTube!

Let Us Not Forget...

Let us remember the responsibility we have to pray for our leaders. Regardless of our happiness or disappointments - we need to pray.

And let us remember to pray for our fellow Americans - that they may find complete freedom, peace and hope - not from a leader or promises - but from the only Savior who has ever walked this Earth... without Him we will ALL continue to thirst for solutions to our plight that we will never find.

Lastly, let us look at this time in history as an opportunity - an opportunity to seek Jesus, ask for intercession on behalf of our leaders and the American people, and watch as Jesus works despite the sin in ALL our lives. Let us not be discouraged, but take up hope in the one who knows all, sees all, and works in the way He has planned from the beginning of time. Let us also remember that every day this world moves toward the time when Jesus will return. This is not our home... we are merely ambassadors of His grace and Love. Now is the time to take our role seriously - for Jesus continues to work regardless of our own inequities. So, let's let Him.

There's definite hope in that.

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Also, check out this article by Pastor Mark Discoll... it is pretty interesting.

http://www.theresurgence.com/in_god_we_do_not_trust

Imploring Votation Skills

"It may be that our means are fairly limited and our possibilities restricted when it comes to applying pressure on our government. But is this a reason to do nothing? Despair is nor an answer. Neither is resignation. Resignation only leads to indifference, which is not merely a sin but a punishment." Elie Wiesel

We need to vote people! This is big stuff!

Fun fun fun

It is Halloween and I'm very excited.

All of my roommates (+ 2 cool guys) are all planning on dressing up as Office characters... I am either going to be Pam or Kelly.... still deciding. It is going to be a fun night to say the least ;)

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Also - just want to give a shout out to my most amazing roommates! You guys are the greatest!!!! I seriously am SO incredibly blessed to have roommates like you guys! (Especially when you bring me coffee from starbucks in the morning when I'm getting ready... THANK YOU STACE!!!)

A Bus Lesson

Walk on the bus... look around...

Men and women 

sitting, 

staring, 

sleeping, 

listening to an iPod, 

reading a book,

dressed in work attire, ready for the day?

But who are they? What are their stories? Are their lives currently filled with joy or with pain? Do they have someone to go home to? Do they feel lonely or loved?

Everyone has a story to share. Wouldn't it be cool if we each had our own life story teller that followed us, writing our experiences down as we lived them? It would be an ongoing process - but we could stop every once in a while and flip back the story and read. Wouldn't it help us to remember where we've been... and remind us where we are going?

I wonder what the stories are of the strangers I see every day. 

And I wonder if mine will ever make an impact... or where I will end up.

But you can't read the final yet... its still in its creative process of discovery.

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PS: Isn't it frustrating when you over-react about something? You just end up worrying about something that isn't worth putting energy toward. Its dumb. 

Unrelenting Pursuit

"You won't relent 

Until you have it all.

My heart is yours."

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...and so He continues to be faithful, continues to pursue after me...after you. He will not relent - He will not rest - until he has it all - all of me, all of you, each and every one of our hearts... The brokenness. The joy. The secrets. The laughter. The love. The hurt. He wants it all.

Each day we rise, He rises with us. He walks along beside us - often pushing us, carrying us, loving us along our way - never once leaving us. Never forsaking us. Only simple pursuit after everything He created us to be.

We are simply left to choose...

To give our hearts? To give our lives? To give our all? To be completely present in all our vulnerability and transparency. There is no hiding, no masking... and often times it is painful... facing our sin and our weaknesses. 

But only HE can restore us. Mold us. Give us purpose unto Him.

...and so - even though I often fail - even though I often make mistakes - I always seem to find myself returning to Him. Facing my inequities. Hoping to find more joy...more fullness...that can only be given by Him.

Please continue to pursue after me. Please remain to be relentless. I need you... and I'm trying to give my all to you... 

Thoughts

Then Jesus said, 

Come to me all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens and I will give you rest. Take my  yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and my burden is light.

Matthew 11:28-30

Thought: There's power in these words... 

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Side note:

I want people to look at me and be able to see richness in my life. 

I really do. 

But I want others to see me as rich not because of money or material things, but because of Jesus in me. I never want money or my job to define me and I never want others to view me as "rich" because of my money or my job. It's completely unappealing and I hate it. But, I am rich... and its because of the life Jesus has blessed me with: my family and my friends and the experiences he's graciously provided to teach me and grow me. Those are the reasons why I'm rich... and the only reasons why I'm rich. Without them, regardless of the amount of money I make, I would be incredibly poor. So, can we please remember that life is not about consumerism, money, material items? It is about our relationship with God and with each other. It is about moving forward - learning and growing in love. In is about being rich in the spirit and in life and love. 

Money merely gets in the way.

Thank You for Vacations

I took work off on Friday and went to Oregon with one of my best friends ever ;) And I just have to say... thank you for vacations!

Sometimes you just NEED a vacation. Sometimes life gets so hectic and it begins to wear a person down a little and you need a vacation. Sometimes because life can dictate so many things...you forget to feel because you are so caught up in the moments of busyness - so, when you finally get a chance to relax a little, emotions come pouring out of you that you didn't realize were even there and didnt realize that they needed to be felt.

These are the reminders that we need to take more breaks to listen, to feel, to remember what we are living for in the first place. These are the reminders that we need to make sure that life does not engulf us and cause us to forget so many important things that we need.

So, again, thank you for vacations and the reminders that there is more to life than the constant routine. I hope I remember to take more vacations...even if they are just in my little mini vacations throughout the day...so I don't forget the bigger picture and what living is all about...

BEE - ing Terrified!

For the record, I am not all that scared of too many things in life. I hate spiders, but I deal with them. Sometimes darkness seems suffocating, but usually it just signifies sleep. Snakes don't bother me, rats are gross but not paralyzing. You see, I'm tough. I can take a lot and deal with a lot. 

But there is one thing that absolutely TERRIFIES me - causes me to respond irrationally, flip out, go crazy, experience high anxiety, become paralyzed and sweeps any clear thoughts in my head out the door. 

It just so happens that I am absolutely, thoroughly, completely, unquestionably TERRIFIED of...

BEES. 

So, please try and visualize this....

This morning seemed like any old morning - maybe a little more exciting since it is a Friday and the weekend is almost here - but mostly normal. I finished getting ready, gathered my stuff together, walked out of my room and headed for the stairs to go and make my lunch. Imagine my utter disbelief and surprise upon realizing that at the bottom of the stairs swarming around the light fixture were about 30 bees - all equipped with stingers, buzzing wings and the ugliest bodies ever!!! AHHH!!! The bigger problem was that I noticed them when I was located directly below the light fixture! Right above my head, literally about three feet away, was a visual display of death and anxiety and it hit me like a storm. So, what did I do? I booked it up the stairs as fast as I could!! I had to get away or else I would die of fright and paralyzation!! 

I made it up the stairs, gathered my lunch as quickly as I could and raced up to my roommates' room to inform them of the horrible scenario that had transpired. They tried to calm me down (I had woken them up and I'm sure they were a little annoyed) and told me to just run past them and that I would be OK.

So, that is what I tried to do. 

I tried to force myself back down the stairs, through the swarm of bees and out our front door. But I just couldn't do it. I was stuck. I would take one step, see a bee fly toward me, scream, and retreat. I'm sure my roommates heard all the commotion I was making because they came out to help me...because honestly, I just couldn't do it by myself. I seriously could not force my self to take the steps needed to reach freedom from the predicament that I found myself in. The fear was so great that I could feel it crawling through my blood. I was worried that I was going to have an anxiety attack as my fight or flight response continued to escalate. I was about to have a serious breakdown. 

Finally, my roommate Renee told me to put a sweatshirt around my head and told me to stare at the floor. She then continued to steer me down the stairs, under the swarming bees, finally pushing me out the front door to my safety!

Thank you Renee!!

So now, I am at work... in my office... thanking God that I did not die... while still wondering what the HELL am I going to do about this problem! I can't sleep at my house tonight!! What if our landlord can't fix the problem immediately (I called them this morning and still have not heard back from them)??!! So, call me homeless because I will not go back in there until I am completely reassured that every single big, ferocious, scary, stinging bee is out of my house.

At Last

This week has been one of the most whirlwind weeks ever. Due to the combination of craziness at work and evening commitments, I have been going going going ALL week! Hence the delay in another amazing blog post by yours truly :)

Fortunately for me (and you) the weekend is only a few hours away... yes! I am so ready for the weekend to begin NOW! I wish I didn't have to work today so i could begin my plans of hanging out with great people and relaxing after such a long week. But, I guess waiting only makes me stronger and maybe i'll appreciate the weekend even more because of it :) I'm trying to think optimistically here mind you :)

Anyway, despite the busy week... it has been a GREAT week and I'm definitely thankful for that.

However, the weekend is almost here at last. And I'm even more thankful for that!

Considerably Challenged

Have you ever been challenged by someone you trust to try something so difficult that you are torn between your competitive nature to take it on and your fear of ultimate failure?

Well, last night I was talking to one of my roommates about... our budgets. This conversation developed into a discussion about how we spend our money and where our true values lay. Well, I'll be honest... yes I have a budget, but I don't even know if I met my budget last month because...well, to be honest I don't monitor it (i know, i know...i'm sorry!). So, I guess you could say that I regularly just live life and trust that hopefully I'm saving some money along the way. The problem with this tactic, or course, it that their is no level of accountability in my money spending patterns. I'd like to think of myself as a conservative spender and a good saver... and I think my bank account does prove this to be true... but the fact remains that I really love clothing and often feel as if I need one more item to enhance my current wardrobe, thus sometimes spending unnecessary amounts of dollars.

But do I really need any more clothes?

That is the question my roommate posed to me last night. Do I really need any more shirts, scarfs, pants, coats, shoes? The answer is undoubtedly no, I do not NEED anymore clothing...but honestly...sometimes I just WANT more clothing. 

So, my roommate, knowing my unrestrained competitive nature, challenged me to go on a spending freeze for the month of October. 

Gasp! A spending freeze for a whole month? Is she serious? But what about that amazing new pair of jeans that I've been thinking about for the past week and a half? How can I go without them?

And that is exactly it. If my first response is to say "no way... I still want the luxury to buy whatever I want because I can" then that clearly speaks volumes about how this spending freeze is such a necessary lesson in the ways of spending money and being a good steward. 

But here's the thing. I'm not sure that I have it in me to be successful. I'm afraid that I'm going to fail and I'm not sure if I have what it takes to say no to those jeans that I "need" so desperately. And the harder part of the matter is that my roommate is taking it upon herself to... KEEP ME ACCOUNTABLE! Ahh! That means no hiding new purchases, no "forgetting" to tell her if/when I do go over the edge and make the purchases I'm trying to avoid and no justifications for anything.

So, I've been considerably challenged by someone I trust and the least I can do is try, right? So, starting today you won't be seeing me near any stores or trying on any new jeans or shirts. 

The spending freeze is on... we'll see if I make it or not...

A Friendtastic Thanks

Maybe this is weird... or kind of different, cheesy, whatever... but i just have to say thank you to all my friends.

There have been so many times in my life where my friends have been there for me, or made me laugh when i felt like crying, or supported big decisions that i didn't know how to make. 

So, thank you. Thank you to those who have always been there for me. Thank you to those who love me even when i am cranky or selfish. Thank you for putting up with my crazy polar bear talk, my outlandish color theories, my addictions to goldfish (yes, the cracker) and diet coke. Thank you for bearing with me when i make big mistakes... (you know what they are)... and thank you for loving me when i feel unlovable.

You guys mean SO much to me and I hope you know that. You've truly made me different, seen me grow and continue to challenge me in the areas that I still need to work on. Thanks for not giving up on me. Thanks for believing in me.

I hope you know how much i believe in you and how much i love each of you. 

THANK YOU!!!

A Whine and A Cry

For the past week my parents have been out of town.

For the past week I have lived at my parents house and have taken care of my beautiful, awesome, magnificent, wonderful, fun, amazing, spectacular, fantastic, brilliant dog... 

ROSCOE

Isn't he SOO cute?!!

When I moved out of my parents home, I will be honest and say I missed him SO much! I even forgot to say goodbye to him the day I moved. I felt horrible.

Anyway, the good thing is that I have been able to hang out with him all week. 

But here's the thing... I don't think he's doing too well. :(

He never used to cry and whine when I was getting ready to leave in the morning. He never used to go upstairs by himself when we weren't home (he can't get down the stairs by himself so he gets stuck up there until we get home... we don't know why he does this...) and he never used to try and get out the door in front of you as you opened the door to leave.

Dogs can get depressed right? Dogs can get sad and lonely right? I think my dog is in need of some extra company or something. Maybe he feels like he might be left behind since his environment keeps changing with me moving out and my parents going on more vacations.

All I do know is that I love him SOOO much and hope he is ok. Maybe his whining and crying will stop soon. Hopefully he will understand that me and my family would never leave him behind. We just love him too much.

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Disclaimer: Yes I do love my dog a lot and I may be slightly obsessed with him, but that does not leave things open for you to make fun of me for this. Just making sure everyone knows that.

Just so everyone knows i think i am getting sick...

That's all for now.

I Don't Get It

Ok. I know I've blogged about this before... but it just keeps coming up in my mind. So, here's another dialogue on this topic...

Why do we (or mostly me) desire to do sinful things? What causes temptation? And why is it that sin often times is simply SO appealing despite the fact that we know its true destructive nature?

I just don't get it.

There's got to be a bigger reason as to why sin is SOO appealing. I mean, one could argue that satan is the instigator in creating appealing sin (there's definitely truth to that). But I really think there has to be more than that - something bigger that seals all the pieces together.

Could it have to do with sacrifice?

Now I don't know the answer. I'm just trying to learn.

It's true the Bible often speaks of the sacrifices Jesus made for each one of us... but it also speaks about the sacrifices each of us will have to make in order to be TRUE followers of Jesus and disciples in training. Could that be why sin HAS to be SO appealing? Why we sometimes CRAVE to sin against our savior and our Lord? Is it all part of the sacrifice that we have to choose to make in order to show Jesus how much we love Him by being obedient - even when the core of our beings just don't want to do what is right?

Because I don't know about you... but I'll be honest. I sometimes CRAVE to do sinful things. And maybe those "sinful" things aren't considered wrong in the eyes of this world... but they are in Jesus' eyes... and so... they must be in mine as well. And sometimes because I seriously do crave things that I know are not of God, I do them anyway. I don't sacrifice my own wants. I give in to my selfishness because most of the time in those moments, I want to be selfish.

I make thought out decisions against truth instead of essentially sacrificing myself to my Lord.

I can't decide if this sounds crazy. I feel like I do sound a little crazy and might be straying far off the beaten path. And maybe I am. But I just feel like there has to be more to temptation and sin. There has to be more to why we DESIRE sin.

So maybe sacrifice is a part of it... I don't know. I'm just trying to learn.

The Same Young & Old

Isn't it strange how we can feel young and old all at the same time?

In recent days I have felt the strain of growing up and working in the real professional world. But at the same time, working in an office with people twice my age (or often times more) I feel quite young... that my mere 23 years of experience is nothing... leaving me wondering how I even got this job in the first place and why my superiors continue to give me work that I feel is often more adept to my "more experienced" co-workers. 

And yet, here I am still sitting in my office... loving every second of it... helping make big decisions... trying to contribute the best I can... while sometimes feeling small and inadequate. Fortunately, my superiors seem to think otherwise. What amazing opportunities they give me! I truly feel as if they believe in me and that is such an amazing thing... and so I try to do my very best in all I do to prove that I can do the things that make me feel small. It is all about growing and learning every day. Each day is an opportunity to challenge myself and be transformed into the person that I'm supposed to be.  

So, I guess I will continue feeling old as I work a job that seems designed for someone with more professional experience... while remaining young in age and in spirit as superiors who have lived life longer surround me. 

What a strange contrast to feel...

Possum Surprise

So, I am in Georgia.

Today when I woke up and walked out of the hotel I am staying at, there about 2 feet to the side of me was a full grown possum sitting on the porch! At first I thought it was a cat... then one of my coworkers asked if it was a big rat. Finally we realized, while still starring into the animals beady eyes that this was indeed a possum... sitting on the porch of our bed and breakfast... starring us down!

We didn't know what to do! Aren't possums supposed to be mean? I swear I remember listening to possum horror stories and the viscious temperment they can have... right? So... we continued to stare it down... only two feet away from me. We were all at a stand still. It was as if the red coat was waiting for us blue coats to get scared and not fight for our chance to walk down the stairs of the porch to our car. Eventually, the possum must have realized we weren't going anywhere. He slowly turned around after giving us one more piercing look and slipped under the deck.

It was crazy!

The folk here in Statesboro just laughed at us as we told our fighting story with this possum. They apparently often interact with such critters. We, over in Seattle however, don't.

What a day!

Hopefully tomorrow morning I won't encounter another possum. It's just to weird for me.

Business Matters

So, I am sitting in an old historic plantation house on the Southern Bible Belt in Statesboro, Georgia. Why? I am on a business trip... again.

Overall I'm having a really fun time. Monday was our travel day... and it was SO exhausting! Basically, I woke up at 4:30am and after two flights and a while of driving I ended up arriving at my hotel room at 10pm that night. Talk about a long day.

Then today, I woke up at 6am (after not falling asleep until about midnight because of the wierd time change). And tonight it is about 8pm here and I just got back from dinner. That's how long today has been. But its been great. And I really am having a fun time.

Tomorrow I'm giving two major presentations (which never fails to make me feel a little inadequate and a whole lot young compared to the people whom I'm presenting to..). One presentation I've never given before and I'm a little nervous about how it is going to turn out. I can only hope that I have practiced enough and that my audience will lend me some grace if I mumble my words or am unable to answer their questions. But I will say I love the challenge. I love getting up in front of people and talking about something I know about and have trust in (yes I am talking about Northland's HD and Internet service here... and I know how nerdy I sound... deal with it I guess). Haha! But it should be a good day regardless of how the presentations turn out because after work some of the people we are here to visit are going to be taking me and my coworker out on the little town of Statesboro for drinks and dinner. I am excited!

Anyway, I best be getting along. I still have some practicing to do and some sleeping to fall into. Stay tuned for more updates!

Messy Transformation

Have you ever thought about the difference between what other people perceive you to be and what you really are inside? Have you ever sat down and truly reflected on whether you live transparently or are closed off with a "caution do not enter" sign around your neck?

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I am a 9th grade girl youth staff leader at Westminster Chapel. And, I am embarking on my 6th year of youth staff leadership. Hard to believe.

Every year we have a volunteer youth staff retreat. We all come together and get back on the same page, remember why we are here and what we are doing and get ready for the upcoming year with our kids. This past weekend was this year's retreat and it was one of the best staff retreats I've ever been on.

We were given the task of creating/decorating boxes with words and images cut out of magazines. The outside of the box was to represent who others perceive us to be and the inside of the box was to represent who we really are inside.

This was a great time of reflection for me. I like to think of myself as an open book, like what you see is what you get. I try to live my life authentically and only put forth my true self to others. But what I realized this weekend is that you can only do that so much.

On the outside I am a confident, strong, energetic person. A little crazy. Possibly a closet rule-breaker. Unconventional. A person who doesn't wait for change, but puts things in motion. A catalyst? I like to take chances and risks. I search for the "moments" in life that are real - the small things that people miss. I love art, polar bears, coffee, diet coke, goldfish and my dog roscoe. Jesus is my Lord and Savior - the one I try to live for. These are things people can see and can observe. These are the things I talk about and that I attempt to display and live out.

But the fact is that on the inside my story is a little different. I often doubt whether I am actually changing... moving forward. But I know in my heart that change is coming. And its coming in the form of

Messy Transformation.

I have my faith in Jesus. I have found redemption in the grace and love of Jesus Christ. But...

I make mistakes.

In fact, I make many mistakes. Some are what people would label as small and inconsequential. But others are huge and devastatingly life changing. And that is why inside of me Messy Transformation is taking place. I am not perfect. I never will be. All I can do is live life the best I can. To try and make the right decisions. To move forward with direct steps toward Jesus with eternal thinking in mind. With the knowledge that I can't be perfect, will never be perfect and that true authenticity is found in weakness...

And so, this is my story. To listen to the voice inside of me that tells me the gospel is true and that my life will be different because of it. 

Change is coming. And its coming in the form of Messy Transformation. 

A Quick Note

Just thought I'd write a quick update on life...

It is going A W E S O M E!

I love my new place in Seattle SO much! I have literally cut my commute time to work in half which makes my sleepy self very happy in the mornings :) Also, walking Greenlake has proven to be a refreshing and rehabilitating after-work routine... not to mention the quality people watching in provides. I seriously have never seen more male roller bladders, 60 year old joggers, or frisbee throwing friends all in one place. Talk about amazing. 

How did I get so lucky?

A Laborous Day

Yesterday was Labor Day. Most of you probably spent the extra day doing exactly the opposite of what it suggests: lazying around, sleeping in, watching movies, hanging out with friends... anything but actually doing labor. That is what the day is all about anyway, right? Taking a day off from laboring.

For me, though... yesterday was a true Day of Labor. I lifted boxes, moved furniture, ran up and down stairs, walked miles back and forth from my car, unloaded, reorganized, put together... all in celebration not of the true Labor Day holiday, but because I moved yesterday... to Seattle... from the eastside... and it is great :)

I have, in fact, took the glorious plunge of living on my own... well, actually with three other wonderfully, amazing friends of mine... but you know what I mean. And it feels great.

And my first housewarming gift? pics to come :) you won't be disappointed!

However, moving wasn't the only great thing about his weekend... one of my close friends got married on Sunday! So, congrats Gabe and Kelsey Cappelletti!! I love you two!

 

Overall rating of this weekend? Excellent!

#5: The Last Mattress Sleeping

So, I did it. I actually went through with it. I've been wanting to for almost a year now but have been waiting for perfect transition timing. And I've finally found it. So...

Today is the Last Wednesday Morning that I will wake up on a twin mattress.

Yes it is true. I have finally purchased a new QUEEN mattress and it is going to be delivered to my new place of residence next Tuesday... which means that next Wednesday, I will have the pleasure of waking up on a wonderful, comfy, perfectly designed mattress instead of my old downtrodden twin mattress.

Yes!

Okay people. This is BIG. Like, really B.I.G. I don't think you quite understand how BIG this really is. The fact is that I have been sleeping away on the same twin mattress for the past TWENTY YEARS of my life!!! It is about time I make this glorious transition to a new, updated, better, bigger bed that will treat my back with a little more comfort and care.

And I'm excited.

#6: The Last Late Eastside Tuesday

To continue with my week of "lasts," today is thankfully the...

Last Late Eastside Tuesday

This morning was one of those days where the night before you decide you want to wake up a little early. Since you have such trouble waking up in the morning, you usually set two alarms on regular work days. But this time, you figure that since you're setting the alarm early you won't need a second one to get you up on time... First mistake...

So, you set your one alarm and quickly fall asleep curled up under the covers. 

Then it happens, you suddenly wake up and a sixth sense knowledge clearly flows to your brain that you woke up late... again.

This is in fact what happened to me today. I had originally planned on waking up 20 minutes earlier than usual (had some stuff I wanted to get done), but since I only set one alarm instead of the two alarms 5 minutes apart that I usually set, I ended up sleeping right through my only "you better wake up now!!" reminder that I had set. In result... I woke up with only 10 minutes to get ready. Gasp! 

And so, this is the last late tuesday on the Eastside I will ever have to endure. I'm sure that once I move I will encounter more late days, but at least this is one last that won't ever happen on the Eastside again. And just for the record... I did make it to work on time. And I think I'll be receiving a gold medal in the mail for this years Olympics for fastest time getting ready in the morning (for women mind you)... or at least personal best record. 

And on top of it all, I think I look pretty darn good despite it.

Day # 7: The Last Eastside Monday Commute

In seven days I will be moving to Seattle. Wow! So excited!

In order to commemorate this amazingly awesome change in my life, I have decided to count down the days till I move with stories of "lasts." What I mean by this, for example, is that today is the last monday that I will ever experience commuting to work from the eastside... well, at least for a year. So here's to the "lasts" for Monday commuting.

Today is the last commuting Monday that I will:

• Not be able to sleep on my way to work due to an overly crowded, steamy bus that requires me to ride standing up if I want to get to work on time 
• Be jerked around during my bus ride since this particular driver does not understand the need for finesse when it comes to breaking and accelerating
• Be a few minutes late to work since the bus had to take a detour off the freeway since I-5 was too jammed pack due to an accident (PS. this is actually the first time that a bus has ever gotten off the freeway early due to an accident or any other traffic blunder... crazy)
• Walk by the same woman asking for change each morning and saying "no" even when you want to say "yes" but are too worried about what she is actually using the money for or if it is all a con act since she is there EVERY morning
  
• Walk the necessary seven blocks from my bus stop to work believing that maybe this really does count as exercise for the day
• Walk the six blocks to my bus stop to go home again trying to figure out how many "miles" my total walking counts up to... good enough for the day? (probably not even half a mile... too bad.)
  
• Almost miss the bus going home like i always do. Seriously. Thank you red light that happens to change exactly when i need it to EVERY DAY.

The last Eastside Monday Commute.

  Cheers to riding the wave.

There's A Bigger Picture

" People ask me, 'What is the purpose of life?' And I respond: 'In a nutshell, life is preparation for eternity. We were made to last forever, and God wants us to be with Him in Heaven.'

One day my heart is going to stop, and that will be the end of my body - but not the end of me. I may live 60 to 100 years on earth, but I am going to spend trillions of years in eternity. This is the warm-up act - the dress rehearsal. 

God wants us to practice on earth what we will do forever in eternity. We were made by God and for God, and until you figure that out, life isn't going to make sense.

Life is a series of problems: Either you are in one now, you're just coming out of one, or you're getting ready to go into another one. The reason for this is that God is more interested in your character than your comfort. God is more interested in making your life holy than He is in making your life happy. We can be reasonably happy here on earth, but that's not the goal of life. The goal is to grow in character, in Christ likeness...

I used to think that life was hills and valleys - you go through a dark time, then you go to the mountaintop, back and forth. I don't believe that anymore.

Rather than life being hills and valleys, I believe that it's kind of like to rails on a railroad track, and at times you have something good and something bad in your life. No matter how bad things are in your life, there is always something good you can thank God for. You can focus on your purposes, or you can focus on your problems.

If you focus on your problems, you're going into self-centeredness, 'which is my problem, my issues, my pain.'

But one of the easiest ways to get rid of pain is to get your focus off yourself and onto God and others.

Am I going to be driven by pleasures? Guilt? Bitterness? Materialism? Or am I going to be driven by God's purposes for my life?

When I get up in the morning, I sit on the side of my bed and say, 'God, if I don't get anything else done today, I want to know you more and love you better.' God didn't put me on earth just to fulfill a to-do list. He's more interested in what I am than what I do. That's why we're called human beings, not human doings.

Happy moments, praise God. Difficult moments, seek God. Quiet moments, worship God. Painful moments, trust God. Every moment, thanks God."

- Rick Warren

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Such a good reminder. Life on earth is a mere moment in time. A snap of two fingers. Therefore, my actions and decisions should reflect big picture thinking. Eternal thinking. Not momentary self-centered thinking. This is what I'm working on. I want to be more than just a doer. I don't want to have my eyes focused on the short term. I want to be focused on eternity. 

To Do

• Get boxes to start packing for the September 1st move to Greenlake
• Water office plant - its looking a little "famished"
• Register business with the state
• Return a belt to Macy's (decided I didn't need it)
• Go to small group tonight and maybe learn something cool about life and God
• Try not to be so self focused all the time
• Buy my sister-in-law a birthday present
• Maybe buy a fish (since I'll be leaving my dog when I move... and i like pets)

How Do We Know?

How are we supposed to know what is good or bad? We can ask countless people, do surveys, research trends and past results, but most of the time we just end up with an overbearing amount of different, opposing opinions that don't match. And that doesn't leave us anywhere except back to where we started... ground zero with no answers.

This is the situation I'm in. I've been intending to register as a business (freelance graphic design and marketing consulting) for the past five months or so. The problem is that I cannot decide upon a  business name.

It is super important to choose a business name that is remarkable... not just ok. But herein lies the problem. The response I've received about the names I've come up with are scattered across the board. It seems like people either hate or love each name I've thought up.

So, are the names remarkable... or really stupid? Who am I supposed to listen to?

And that's just it. I think I've finally realized that I'm supposed to listen to myself... my gut feeling of what is good and what is bad. Do I like the name and does the name speak to me? Do I think the name will represent the values of my business and express creativity and thought? These are the questions I must ask myself in order to decide on a name... because it's just too hard to listen to everyone. So, I think I've got to listen to myself.

I currently have a name I've been sitting on for a couple of weeks now. Friends and family keep persuading me both ways... yes... and no. But now its time to stop and think about it for myself... and make a decision. 

I'm leaning toward a yes.

How will I know if it is the right choice? I don't know if I'll ever know. But you know, if the business name ends up being the wrong one... I guess I can always change it right? I won't be stuck in a box forever if it turns out to be the wrong one.

So, I think in the next week I'm going to take the plunge into business ownership. Crazy. I seriously do feel so old. 

The Weekend Has Arrived!

My weekend has finally arrived! I'm about to embark on a weekend long bachelorette party in one hour and counting...

So excited!

Hope everyone has a super amazing weekend!

Hump Day

Yep... it's hump day... Wednesday that is... 

Wonder why they call it hump day. I guess it is the middle of the week day. Maybe they did label it correctly.

But who are they anyway? Who is the they that comes up with all these things in life? And how have they become so smart and so famous? Cause you know its true. They are so smart. And everyone knows them and quotes them and calls on them for reference. Really everything they say seems to always be true. I wonder how cool it would be to be a they someday. Maybe they will be my new form of inspiration. Hmm... 

Regardless, it is still hump day and because of them I can say that it is hump day without eliciting any kind of actual... umm... (insert your own verb here).

I guess what I'm really trying to say here is that I'm glad its wednesday because that means I only have two more days until the weekend. And that makes me happy. Because I love weekends. And this one is going to be fun. 

So... the countdown begins... two days left.

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Side note: tomorrow morning at 7:30am is not going to be fun. I have a "meeting" that I do not want to attend. Its one of those "awkward, wish I could avoid my entire life" type of meetings. Ugh. Talk about a total bummer. Wish me luck.

Celtic Mondays

A great discovery was made yesterday: Celtic Mondays.

Imagine a pub full of irish hippy wannabes, men and women, ages ranging from 21-60, with "normal" people scattered sparingly throughout the bar... combine that with an an authentic crazy celtic music group (electric violin and guitar included)... and you get one of the most amazing nights of insane irish dancing, crazy birthday celebrations (there there 4 going on) and an absolutely mind blowing good time! Seriously one of the best nights of my life!

You see, one of my besties had a birthday yesterday. And to celebrate, four of us girls went to the Wylde Rover (an Irish Pub) to hang out, shoot some pool and just be cool. What we got was one of the best Monday experiences of our lives!

From here on out... if you ever wonder why I can't hang out on Monday nights its because I will be living it up and enjoying every single moment of Celtic Mondays. Oh but don't sit at home alone... come join me!! I guarantee it will be a night you won't ever forget!

I think I now know what Columbus must have felt like to discover the "new world"... 

Celtic Mondays... my life is now complete :)

Polar Bears and Publishing

I am not the type of person who has the desire to climb Mt. Everest... swim across Lake Washington... run a marathon... or do battle with self discipline.

However, I do have two goals... two dreams... that I hope to accomplish before I leave this world behind.

1. See polar bears in their natural habitat.

Now please don't make fun of me here because I'm serious. I desperately want to see polar bears in real life some day... not the "zoo" real life (been there, done that) but the "arctic" real life. I so desire to make a trek up to Manitoba, Canada or the Norwegian Archipelagos and watch polar bears run on the open ice, catch a seal for their dinner, play with their cubs in the snow, interact with one another in the only way polar bears know how... ferociously. The day I get to see polar bears my life will have reached its peak. There's nothing greater that I want to see than a polar bear... or even multiple polar bears... in real life. Sigh.

2. Be published.

Some day I want to publish a story... a narration... a tragedy... anything. I just want to be published. Maybe I'll write a fiction novel about the dichotomy between good and evil. Or maybe I'll publish a short story about something I've personally experienced (God knows that the most outrageous things happen to me... I really could write about some of them). But the main thing is... I just want to be published. Even if it means Reader's Digest style. I'm not necessarily shooting for the stars here. I don't expect to be a world class writer some day. I simply want to make a mark on the world by providing something of substance that elicits the opportunity to be published. Sigh.

I don't know if I will ever reach these two goals... these two dreams in my life. But I know I'm going to try hard. Maybe some day I'll get to look back on this silly blog that I really do love (again, don't make fun of me here... let me have my fun...) and be able to say... I did it... that my dreams became reality. Sigh.

And so I will continue to try and save money so that I can afford to go visit my polar bears... and I will attempt to write something someday that is good enough to maybe publish... maybe. But I know I'm going to try hard. :)

Idols

I decided to read the Bible today.

Yes, I am a follower of Jesus... but I am the first to admit that reading the Bible is very hard for me. So, the fact that I read the Bible today is pretty cool and I don't feel bad about patting myself on the back for it. In fact, I even noticed something I never have before. I know its hard to believe, but I don't know everything about the Bible :) So, today has been a good day. 

First, some background information. I decided to read 1 John...all six chapters of it. The "Johns" are some of my favorite books of the Bible and I haven't read them for quite some time. So, I thought it'd be a good place to start as I finally concluded my unplanned hiatus from the Bible. 

But here's what I noticed: Instead of the usual concluding remarks, salutation and encouragement included, John ends his discourse by saying: 

"Dear children, keep yourself from idols."

That's it. No "Grace be with you." No "Amen." No "To our God be glory forever and ever. Amen." 

Instead, John concludes with one last pleading remark: "Dear children, keep yourself from idols." And its important. 

It's like he's saying...

"Friends! Don't forget! Stay away from idols! You don't need them. They do nothing. They aren't worth your efforts. There's no eternal value in them. Don't give yourself to them. They will only push you further away from Jesus. They will confuse your minds, change your goals, influence what you believe is important. They will tear you away from Jesus. Don't let them tear you away from Jesus. Run toward Jesus. Only He can fill your heart, make your life complete, mold you into the person you were created to be. Don't forget! It's too important to forget!" 

This is what I noticed today... Idols... I have idols... and its too important to forget.

The sneaky thing about idols is that they can be anything... anything that we put in front of Jesus... anything that becomes more important than our relationships with God... anything that holds greater value than the grace and forgiveness we receive on a regular basis due to our consistent sinfulness: money, friends, clothes, status, careers, cars, family, appearance, vanity, personality, TV shows, traveling, polar bears... seriously they can be anything...

And they have the ability to destroy.

Maybe that sounds overly dramatic. A little intense. But its true. And I think that is why John concludes his first letter with this reminder. Instead of concluding his letter in the usual way, John catches our attention with this last important cry for change in our own lives. Keep away from idols. They destroy and cause us to stray from the things we know to be true... from the things we know have eternal value... and from the things we try to hold on to.

I know the power that idols have since I have some of my own. Today I was reminded about how great is the need to get rid of them before they slowly work their destruction in my own life. Its hard work breaking down idols. Its hard work acknowledging that they are there. But its worth it. Majorly worth it. And because of that I will try. 

Watch out idols. Its your turn to be called out for what you are.

 

Addictions. Stalking. Stupid Applications.

I remember when MySpace became the new popular adolescent tool to keep in touch with friends, meet new people and make a defining personal statement. I think it must have been hard for the older generation to understand why an online social network could ever make such an impact among so many people worldwide... but it did... and it still does... well, at least for many anyway... but not for me. No. I have always rejected the MySpace fad.

But then there was the "F-book," more commonly known as Facebook.

Since then, all bets have been off. I have jumped headfirst into the depths of Facebook and it has become an addicting force... a force worth reckoning with. In fact, the "original" Facebook was amazing. Simple. Easy. Awesome.

But now that Facebook has been around for a while there are several things that cause me to reconsider the amazingness that has always been Facebook.

For example:

• What is with all the new "applications" that are now available? Like, what is Jetman and who would want it on their profile anyway?
• I don't like it when people poke me in real life so why would I want someone to "poke" me or even "super poke" me over the F-book? Who does that?
• What's the purpose of the News Feed? I must be so cool that the world truly does want to stalk my every move. That must be it.. Alas, I am forced to stalk my friends due to the News Feed... but just for the record, I really don't care when anyone else writes on someone else's wall, or who is now friends with who, or whether anyone I know became a fan of "Mastodon" or not.
• And then there's status updates... I will be the first to admit that I change my "status" throughout the week from "Dawn wishes it was Friday already" to "Dawn is excited that is it finally the weekend" but do I really need to know if "____ can't stand immature teenagers" or if "_____ is santa clause" or that "____ is thinking of fund raising ideas"? Hmm...o
• The new "Chat" feature... remind you of IM anyone??
  

While there are definitely things about Facebook that I do not appreciate, it is still my day-time addiction that helps me get through the day in my office as piles of work stack up. When I need a little break, it gives me the opportunity to reminisce about that amazing camping trip I went on with some of my favorite friends as I peruse posted pictures... or write a little comment on my friend's wall telling her she's awesome. Creating events are also an amazing part of Facebook... not to mention the birthday updates, funny notes to read and personalized profiles. Because of these things, Facebook will always be near and dear to my heart... a way to keep in touch with those friends that you really don't want to see, and a way to remind your super close friends that you are here to stay as a central part of their lives...whether they like it or not :)

Thank you Facebook. An addiction you are. A means of stalking others and to be stalked by others... good and stupid applications included.

It couldn't be better.

"Little Girl" Gone

You know, there are certain life experiences that truly set us apart from our childish tendencies and lead us into adulthood: Graduating high school, graduating college, embarking on a first "real" job in the world of business, moving out on your own, and... traveling on business trips.

There's something about business trips that communicate "old" or at least "experienced" in the world of business... something I definitely do not feel. And so, it is somewhat an anomaly to me that I am sitting in an office in Mt. Shasta, California on... yes you guessed right... a business trip. What is even more astonishing is the fact that not only am I on a business trip... but that I was put in charge of presenting a twenty minute training session to people significantly more "experienced" than I am.

At only a mere 23 years of age, I feel much more like an adolescent in the realm of business than an "expert" with the knowledge to present training sessions. I have truly embarked on a path of adulthood. Yet, I still feel young... a little inadequate... and a lot less experienced than those I work with and those I am supposedly "training."

I guess that's just how life is. It throws us into opportunities to grow and challenge ourselves with obstacles and experiences in order to learn.

I LOVE presenting. In fact, I have discovered that I thrive off of the opportunity to get in front of a group of people (let it be 5 or 35 people) and present valuable information... any information... to help others grow, learn and advance in their training... all the while feeling like I am the one learning more than what I am teaching.

Anyway, I guess I'm just loving the fact that I'm in Mt. Shasta on a business trip and having the opportunity to grow, learn and challenge myself in new areas. This is what becoming an adult is all about... taking the opportunities that present themselves and using them to stretch ourselves as much as possible so that we may continually strive toward becoming who we were made to be.

I guess I'm growing up... its just a little strange.

Tongue Tied Adults and Magic Words

When is the last time you've heard an adult say "please" or "thank you"? 

When we were little kids, our parents taught us the same Magic Words that their parent's taught them. The tradition of teaching Magic Words is truly an ancient one. 

Please. Thank you. 

These are the words that our parents forced us to use in order to receive whatever it was that we "needed" at the time - a piece of candy, the opportunity to be speed demons on our bikes, the permission to go hang with a friend or even just to watch a little extra TV or play a video game. In fact, even when we simply wanted an extra scoop of mashed potatoes at dinner, our parents would quip in a tone saturated with sarcasm, power and hilarity..."What are the Magic Words?" Learning those simple words was a true matter of survival... but they were also used to teach us about respect, manners and a little bit of humility too.

So, why is it that once people become adults they always fail to use Magic Words?

On my way to work, I pass by a police offer who stands at a particular corner of the street each morning. He is a nice old man who waves at all the "regulars" and offers a friendly smile to anyone who will accept it. Most mornings I see him reach for the "Walk Button" for someone who is rushing to cross the street before they miss their bus. If the police officer didn't push the button these people would miss their bus. I have never heard anyone tell the police officer Thank You.

Riding the bus every day gives me the opportunity to observe many types of people: business men and women, bicyclists fit and unfit, students young and old, hippies, yuppies, bluetooth wannabes... you name it. The disappointing thing is, I have never once heard any of these people acknowledge the bus driver. I have never heard anyone say Thank You.

And most days as I am arriving or leaving my building, a considerate person will hold the elevator door open so someone else doesn't have to wait for the next one available. However, I have never heard a Thank You.  

Magic Words used to be a matter of survival in our childhood years. Now, they have become extinct in the vocabularies of the "wiser" generation.  Please and Thank You are no longer words of survival. Instead, power, domination, individualism and superiority have been imbedded into the minds of the "cut throat" and the "simple passerby" alike.  Unfortunately, respect, manners and humility have lost their splendor and significance due to the cost of "adult survival."  In a world that believes that Nice Guys finish last, Magic Words have become obsolete. Useless. Unnecessary. 

Where have we gone wrong?

In my own feeble attempt at becoming an adult, I have discovered that some childhood past-times must never decay... must never be put behind us as we take bigger, wider steps into independence and adulthood. Please and Thank You are still Magic Words to me. They are still words that communicate respect and humility... two characteristics that are valuable beyond all measure.

And since no one else will say this... I'll say Thank You police officer. Thank You bus driver. Thank You elevator door holder. 

I will also say this... Please don't forget your Magic Words. There's someone out there who still appreciates them.

Purple Cow

"The old rules don't work so well any more. Marketing is dead. Long live marketing." 

- Seth Godin, The Purple Cow

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I have rediscovered how much of a nerd I am. Yesterday I was at Barnes and Noble and I bought two books. One book is about three Manhattan city women and their intertwined lives as they face love, heartache and discover what the true meaning of friendship is. The other is titled "Purple Cow" and it is a marketing book. Yes, a marketing book. There is no plot. No character development. No fiction. Just simple marketing. I am a nerd to the core.

This particular marketing book was recommended to me by a good friend. So, when I saw the cover (yes a spotted purple cover) I couldn't resist making the purchase and began reading it today.

The only problem is... according to Mr. Godin... Marketing is dead.

What am I to do?! Marketing is my job! If marketing is dead, then my job is soon to be obsolete!

What is the truth and the mystery behind the Purple Cow? Stay tuned. There's got to be more behind the death of marketing... if not... then I'm toast.

Something to Say

"Something has to be said... but I don't know how to say it.  And so I'm left maundering, pondering over what I'm unable to convey..."

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"Action and reaction, ebb and flow, trial and error, change - this is the rhythm of living. Out of our over-confidence, fear; out of our fear, clearer vision, fresh hope. And out of hope, progress."

 - Bruce Barton

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"In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

- Albert Schweitzer

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"Life is a long lesson in humility"

- James M. Barrie

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"I still find each day too short for all the thoughts I want to think, all the walks I want to take, all the books I want to read, and all the friends I want to see."

- John Burroughs

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"Only a few things are really important"

- Marie Dressier

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"All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on."

- Henry Ellis

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"There is nothing so easy to learn as experience and nothing so hard to apply."

- Josh Billings

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"Life is the art of drawing without an eraser."

- John W. Garner

Stop Wanting to Date Me!

What is it with 30-35 year old men wanting to date me!!!! COME ON! I'm getting super sick of it. I mean seriously! Ugh!

I guess at least this one isn't divorced with kids... relatively normal... just not my style. Gosh, how do I get myself in these circumstances? Maybe from now on I won't be nice. From now on you can expect me to be mean to everyone so that there is absolutely NO confusion over who I "like" and who I definitely do not "like". So stop guessing because chances are I don't. No offense. 

In fact, since we are on this subject... man who is a little rough around the edges, a christian to the core, with deep confidence and understanding about what you want come give me a call. If you don't fit that profile, don't bother.

Also, I'm thinking from now on I need to wear a sign around my neck saying "Men Over 30 Not Welcome Here."

Do you think that would get the point across? Gosh!

Some Things...

Minor thoughts on the day:

• I'm tired today...really tired today. I seriously can barely keep my eyes open. Ugh.
• I went "shopping" during my lunch break today...didn't buy anything...I have expensive taste
• Having expensive taste sucks...wish it weren't so
• Pistachios are wonderful...so is diet coke
• Sunshine is my favorite
• Long sleeved, black shirts don't mix well during the summer
• Talking to strangers isn't always sketchy
• "Forever" = quality song (even if it is by Chris Brown)
• Post-It notes aren't just for posting notes
• Everyone needs a camera when two hippies pass by with long dreadlocks, stripped knee-high socks with burkenstocks and tin mugs hanging off their traveling backpacks walking two dogs toward the Market
  
• Sometimes you just have to go golfing...soon...
• Going to Moses Lake, WA for a business trip seems awfully strange. Who would have thought?
• Roscoe is the best dog in the world

          

Moving to the Beat

So, it is official... I am moving out of my residence for the past 23 years and am verging upon my first year of actual, 100% real independence. Yes!

But what to feel? 

Excitement, anticipation, success, nervousness, amazement, happiness, sadness, readiness... all these things and more I'm feeling as I begin to prepare for the move on September 1, 2008. Yes, it is over a month away... but have you ever seen my room? If you have, then you would understand the daunting task ahead of me. The "spring" (or summer) cleaning that must take place is almost terrifying. But it is good too. It will force me to give up those things that only collect dust and space and it will reveal those things that are so valuable that I cannot bear to give them up to another person... or worse yet... a landfill. 

And so, I continue my journey in discovering who I want to be while becoming who I am. 

I guess the next step is Seattle... the city... new people... new sounds... new sights. S0 long suburbia. But don't worry, I will visit you on Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Sundays and probably other days as well. Not all is being left behind. Many good things remain.

It's just a little bit of change. Nothing wrong with that ;-)

Anticipating Lease Action (plus other minor thoughts)

So, it has been decided. I am moving to Seattle... the Greenlake area to be exact. And...I'm very excited!

On Saturday, my other soon-to-be roommates and I turned in our lease applications for a beautiful three story townhouse only one block away from the lake. It is prime property and we might just be the lucky lease holders to snag it. We should find out today...

The anticipation is almost to great to handle! I hope we find out soon! I seriously just can't wait!

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On another note, this summer has been absolutely wonderful (despite the late arrival in good weather). So far, it has been exactly the carefree, fun, no stress, no schedule summer I was hoping for. It's been all play (except for that little inconvenience called work...) and relaxation in the sun. I just LOVE the sun! Oh, and I've also decided that I really love walks... yes walking... it is a good thing. Yay for walks.

___

Okay, one more thing... I love my life. Euphoric is how I would describe my summer mood... absolutely euphoric...

Seattle Pick-up Lines

Today I experienced a first...

I was walking down 2nd avenue in Seattle (on my way to emerald city smoothie) when a normal looking guy, walking in the opposite direction, stopped...turned around...and began walking with me. But his comment surprised me the most...

"Sweetheart, if I were straight, I would ask you to marry me."

Wow. Is that supposed to be a compliment? Did I really almost cause a gay man to turn straight (sarcasm)? I don't get it. I just kept walking. He eventually turned around again and that was that. 

Maybe this volatile and out-of-place comment was supposed to be a pick up line... hmm... regardless, ever since I began working in the city, I have come to hear many Seattle pick-up lines by crazy and somewhat sane men alike.

Here are some of them:

• You are beautiful beautiful beautiful! 
• I love those clothes you are wearing. How much money would I have to give you to take off your clothes for me? (I still can't believe this one actually happened! we had almost a 3 minute conversation about it. the guy wouldn't leave me alone! do i really look like i want to be solicited by men? come on!)
• Sugar, do you have a manfriend?
• Hey baby girl
• Please marry me
• Hey babe, what's your number?
• Your hair is beautiful. 
• These are my two boys (shows me pictures)... but now I'm divorced. Want to grab some lunch? From a Seattle, professional

Wow. Maybe if they weren't all so stupid I would give them a chance...well, no...that's actually not true. These lines come from men who are either homeless, divorced, or old enough to be my dad or grandpa... or a combination of all three. 

Talk about backhanded compliments.

PS...

I think I'm moving to Seattle... ??

The Best Weekend Ever!!!

Don't you love it when you have one of the best weekends ever? That is really the only way I can describe this past weekend...the best ever.

I went to a friends house over in Eastern Washington right on the river with about 20 other really great friends. Basically all we did was: lay in the sun, read in the sun, go boating, wake boarding (Kyle was absolutely amazing as usual!), tubing, BBQing, played soccer (YES!!!), softball, football, card games, catch phrase (sound transit slogan...ride the wave, I love this movie!... Beauty and the Beast), slept under the stars, watched amazing fireworks, discovered Janelle's least favorite words (don't ask...), ate the best homemade ice cream, became a photojournalist (photos to come)...the list goes on. 

It was just exactly what I needed! A long 4 day weekend for me that ended in a tan (kinda anyway) and renewed energy to jump back into routine. 

But I will say that I miss Sun Cove already and wish I was there right now...

Also, just so everyone knows...I have the best friends of all time!! Truly blessed by the best.

Sunflower Seed Lessons

Sunflower seeds...

I love eating sunflower seeds. I love the salty dexterity of the shell and the entertaining process we undertake in order to reap the small benefit inside. 

There is a distinct hilarity and irony around the sunflower seed. The more we eat, the more our lips and fingers become chapped from the salt. And yet, we continue because there is something utterly addicting about eating sunflower seeds. I dare you to eat just one. It is a literal impossibility. 

I myself, have been eating them all day at work today. It causes the time to go by a little faster as I preoccupy myself with more than just routine. 

And yet, as I crack each sunflower seed, I am left wondering if this is the process of refinement that we each must go through. Do we each have a shell surrounding our true selves? Does God carefully crack and remove the hard exterior that we often put up as a way to guard and protect from the harsh realities that this world sometimes aims our way?

Through each experience and refining moment in our lives, God carefully removes our hardness with love to bring forth our true character and our true selves. Sometimes this process can be difficult and painful. Sometimes it takes many experiences and many cracks for God to loosen the shell we may have built up around ourselves. 

But we must let our shells be cracked. We must let our vanity, love for money, control, pride, and selfishness to be demolished by the grace and love of Jesus Christ. If we fail to let go...then we will never learn what it means to be truly authentic...to be the child God created each one of us to be...to truly grow as He would have us grow...and to fully give our lives over to Him for His purpose and His glory.

And so, I will continue to crack open sunflower seeds as a reminder of the refining process that I must undergo everyday. I must let go. I must let God do the work that He so desires. I only want to glorify and honor Him. And so...I continue forward - knowing that more cracks are on the way as God continues to refine.

Lord - please continue to refine me. Please continue to break down my hard exteriors and make me into the daughter you created me to be. I know it may hurt. I know it may be difficult. But Lord, I want to know you more and I want to serve you selflessly. Teach me the best way you know how.