Authenticity

I saw this video clip of a dad's reaction to his son's passing grade in math class this morning. And I found myself being brought to tears. Perhaps I'm just emotional today. But even more than that, the authenticity of this Dad's love for his boy shines through. What we can't see are the countless hours this dad spent helping this boy succeed. The many conversations about how perseverance and hard work produce "results." The time spent doing everything he could to build confidence and the knowledge that this boy could "succeed." We don't see the agony or the pain it took to make this moment reality.

What we do see shinning through is the real love this dad has for his boy. We see how proud he is of his boy. And for what? A C grade. Perhaps mediocre? But not for this dad and his boy. This is the authentic expression of true achievement. And that's why I found myself being brought to tears.

I hope one day when I have hopes and dreams for my own children, this type of authentic love and appreciation for them will shine through.

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The Greatest Chefs Just Cook

I've never wanted to be a chef. It's just not a skill set I ever thought I'd have or ever be really good at. In fact, my hopes and dreams around cooking have always been found in the simple successes. For example, I'd love to be able to bake a consistent baked potato. It still mystifies me why baking a potato is so frickin' hard. It never takes the same amount of time at the same temperature. I don't know what the deal is! (And yes I do poke holes in my potatoes every time.)

Alas, cooking has never been my strongest suite, especially when cheese and crackers are so dang convenient... and delicious :)

Well (now that I have so much time on my hands) I'm learning. And tasting. And failing. And everyone once in a while... magic happens. The type of magic that has me thinking that

the greatest chefs just cook.

Yep. I've decided that good cooks, just decide to cook... and try... and experience. And maybe that's just when the greatest discoveries happen. 

Introducing beef ragu with basil lemon peel - debatably the best meal I've ever made. All because I decided to try and actually cook something.

So, thank you beautiful, aroma-filling beef ragu. You have inspired me to just keep cooking something... anything... in the hopes of finding more delicious recipes like yourself. And maybe, just maybe I'll be able to nail down that baked potato some day.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

Wow.

It's crazy that it's been almost one full year since I've posted anything on this blog. How time flies by. It's crazy to think back on where life has taken me and my family and what's been experienced in such a short time.

First Wedding Anniversary Celebration
First House Buying
First Mortgage Payment
First Bathroom Renovation
First Ascent of the Inca Trail and First Sighting of Machu Pichu
First Mt Adams Ascent
First Send of 5.11a (booya! thank god for finger cracks)
First Big Fight with the Husband that Took a FEW TOO MANY Days to Resolve (but resolve we did!)
First Success of Cooking Chicken and Dumplings
First Time Painting a Ceiling (its so much harder than you think!)
First Hawaii Trip with the VanVoorhis Clan

The list goes on and on. Leading to...

The First Layoff.

Yep, I was officially laid off after six years of designing, marketing, planning and executing. Talk about changes. BIG changes. Life altering changes. And you know what? Life is good.

Oh don't get me wrong. It's definitely scary. There will always be those "what-if-no-one-wants-me" thoughts or "will-I-ever-get-hired-again?" feelings that I just have to push away and try to ignore.

But even more than that, I'm on a journey... a sabbatical of sorts. It's time to reconnect the pieces and rediscover what lies beneath an exterior that's become hardened by survival mode. It's time to rediscover who I am and who I want to become.

And so, I'm back to writing and learning and contemplating. All I know is that I'm going to keep showing up in the hopes that I will find HIM faithful on the other side. So far, so good.

Here's to changes.

A dare to live fully, right where you are

"But how? How do we choose to allow the holes to become seeing-through-to-God places? To more-God places? How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-focus for God-communion? To fully live - to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal. It is possible, wildly... A dare to an emptier, fuller life."

One Thousand Gifts
Ann Voskamp

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So many questions... it's time to find the answers. Lead. I'm trying to follow.

Leading

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Yep, I really did have one of the best weekends ever. Consisting of a best friend's bachelorette party, camping near Leavenworth, climbing at Index and celebrating my nephews birthday, you really can't get much better than that. Truly.

Photo of the bulge move on Roger's Corner.
This is not me, but an example of the climb.

On top of it all, the climbing we (Jesse and I) did was awesome! So, usually Jesse, being the most amazing and spectacular climber that he is, leads all the routes and I follow and clean the gear. Well... this weekend up at Index, your truly lead the routes! It was a BIG day for me. So what did I climb? Let me provide some details :)

The first pitch of Roger's Corner was the first climb of the day. Rated at 5.7, it is actually a bit of a beast. We must remember that this is Index and ratings at Index are always way stiffer than compared to say Exit 38 or Vantage. So, the fact that I even wanted to try leading this route is a BIG deal! And on top of that, as you start the route you are faced with about 10 feet of an off width crack where you have to layback and make the move on up. Laybacking happens to be a difficult technique for me, but I did it and made my way the next section where you have to go up over a bulge that's a bit awkward. This was a stemming move that while was not technically difficult, did require commitment. And after a couple attempts, I finally went for it and made it without falling! It was awesome. What a way to start the day at Index!

View of the Great Northern Slab

After that I was feeling pretty confident... which by the way, is the key to climbing. I often find that if my attitude for the day is rich in confidence and the willingness to go for the moves, then I climb much better and have more fun. So, I was feeling pretty good after the first pitch of Roger's Corner so Jesse and I decided to go and climb the Great Northern Slab... and I led it! The whole thing, which is just so cool! It's not only the first multi pitch route that I've ever led, but it also had a couple committing moves and required more thought about how and where to place gear. The first pitch went without a hitch. It's a simple 5.4 section that's a little dirty at the lower section and then cleans up nicely at the top. I built my anchor (which is also a new experience for me) and belayed Jesse up. It all went really well. Then after deciding to go for the second pitch, started up towards the crux. It's another bulge move that's also awkward and requires commitment. After pushing myself up and kind of through this bulgy section, I was pretty much home free. I decided to stay on the thiner crack line on the left and made my ascent. Toward the top I began running out of small pro and so decided to go for the top a little more than perhaps I should. I was super close to the anchor and on this not so secure edge when I look over and see a wasp sitting right next to my hand! Ahh! SOOO scary! And I'm on lead about 10 feet above my last piece! Fortunately, as I start shaking, the guy already at the chains told me calmly to focus on my climbing. That brought me back around and I was able to make the moves to the chains. Whew! I made it! Again, I belayed Jesse up and after enjoying the view for a while we rapped down. What a good climb!

All in all, we had a great day climbing. It's really rewarding to start attempting more lead climbing and gaining that confidence to simply go for some climbs that seemed so unattainable even just last year. I'm so thankful to have a husband who is willing to help teach me and encourage me along this journey!

What a great weekend it was. Can't wait to get back out there and try some more.

As He leads... it's our choice to follow.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my should. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake..."

Hello World

It has been quite a while since I’ve updated anything on this blog. I guess sometimes life just get’s a hold of you and before you know it, you are carried away into the unknown of engagement, dogs, planning, decorations, flowers, wedding bells, honeymoon drinks on the beach, and then finally home… with the one you love the most, create dreams around, snuggle with, and find joy in the everyday with.

If you haven’t guessed, this past year I got engaged and am now married to the love of my life. And yes, we have a dog. She is so sweet and cuddly, and well… FAST. She likes to chase tennis balls and run as I bike. She also likes to sit on my lap… all 55 lbs of her amazingness. She likes to lick calves, toes, arms, necks… basically anything she can get her tongue on (gross huh?).

This is our little family. Just the three of us. And now we embark together on adventures of climbing, camping, exploring what “regular” life means and re-defining the words “love” and “commitment.”

It’s true this past year has been quite a whirlwind of blessings. And as Jesse, Scout and I settle into the everyday, it is time to write again. May many more blessings meet us in the present… and the future… as we find our way and create a new life together. The real adventure has just begun.