Sunflower Seed Lessons

Sunflower seeds...

I love eating sunflower seeds. I love the salty dexterity of the shell and the entertaining process we undertake in order to reap the small benefit inside. 

There is a distinct hilarity and irony around the sunflower seed. The more we eat, the more our lips and fingers become chapped from the salt. And yet, we continue because there is something utterly addicting about eating sunflower seeds. I dare you to eat just one. It is a literal impossibility. 

I myself, have been eating them all day at work today. It causes the time to go by a little faster as I preoccupy myself with more than just routine. 

And yet, as I crack each sunflower seed, I am left wondering if this is the process of refinement that we each must go through. Do we each have a shell surrounding our true selves? Does God carefully crack and remove the hard exterior that we often put up as a way to guard and protect from the harsh realities that this world sometimes aims our way?

Through each experience and refining moment in our lives, God carefully removes our hardness with love to bring forth our true character and our true selves. Sometimes this process can be difficult and painful. Sometimes it takes many experiences and many cracks for God to loosen the shell we may have built up around ourselves. 

But we must let our shells be cracked. We must let our vanity, love for money, control, pride, and selfishness to be demolished by the grace and love of Jesus Christ. If we fail to let go...then we will never learn what it means to be truly authentic...to be the child God created each one of us to be...to truly grow as He would have us grow...and to fully give our lives over to Him for His purpose and His glory.

And so, I will continue to crack open sunflower seeds as a reminder of the refining process that I must undergo everyday. I must let go. I must let God do the work that He so desires. I only want to glorify and honor Him. And so...I continue forward - knowing that more cracks are on the way as God continues to refine.

Lord - please continue to refine me. Please continue to break down my hard exteriors and make me into the daughter you created me to be. I know it may hurt. I know it may be difficult. But Lord, I want to know you more and I want to serve you selflessly. Teach me the best way you know how. 

Brimstone and Fire Sidewalk Preachers

Brimstone and Fire Sidewalk Preachers... crazy or normal??

Here's the story...

During lunch today, I was in dire need of a tall non-fat vanilla latte from Starbucks. So, I left work and made the trek to the Starbucks by Westlake Center. When I got there, I encountered an older man dressed in a black suit and tie with a white poster board (like one you would use in a high school presentation). 

Seattle is full of crazies (like the one time I passed by a fist fight and didn't know if I should call the police or not...I didn't...I will next time...) so I didn't think much about it. The crowd around him was diverse as only Seattle can provide: old men with white hair, the vagabond passerby, a young mom with twin babies in a stroller...you get the idea.

With coffee on my mind, I was about to step into Starbucks when I heard the man with the poster board exclaiming in Charismatic Exclamation that Seattlites need to repent and fall at the feet of Jesus. While this may be true...it seemed a little extreme.

I mean, will anyone actually listen to this guy and be impacted by him? Won't he simply make people angry and defensive as they walk by, hearing his crazy outcries for reform? He made me a little angry and annoyed and I even agree with some of what he was saying. I don't know. Although I will say it is not fair for me to put limitations on how God decides to use others and speak to His people. Still...I wonder... 

I just don't know about Brimstone and Fire Sidewalk Preachers...

Maybe I should try it some time. Anyone want to join me?

Today is a Good Day!

Today is a good day! It is my last day of work for the week and I am going camping tomorrow! Yeah!

I am so excited! I will be in 85 degree weather in almost 24 hours exactly. Oh how I cannot wait for the sunshine! Actually, looking outside my office window, I can see that the sunshine decided to show itself today in Seattle. That is a nice gesture :) But I'm still excited for tomorrow. 85 degree weather. It just can't get any better then that... Yes!

PS: What can separate me from the love of Christ? Nothing. No army. No object. No stupid act of disobedience. No family. No friends. No enemies. No emotions. No boredom. No distance. No decision. No nothing...and for that, I am ever so grateful. Thank you Jesus. 

The "I" Factor

First revelation of the day: Read the post below called "Life"... count how many "I"s there are... maybe that's the first thing to do...stop focusing on the "I" 

Life

So I asked a friend on Sunday how his life was going and he answered with "average good." Then I asked him what would make his life "good good" and he answered, "I just need to spend more time with Jesus. That's really it."

So, I know I haven't posted in a while...but I've been really distracted. To be honest, I've been a little preoccupied to think about much of anything. I guess I'm just kind of tired. Sometimes it is so difficult to put in the effort toward the things that mean the most. Why is that? I guess maybe that's why those things mean the most in the end...because you do put so much of your soul and energy toward it. It becomes you and you become it. 

So, if I'm not putting my time and energy into the thing that means the most to me...then what is taking it's place...and am I beginning to find my identity elsewhere than where I should? I really hope not. I need to probably think about that a little and make sure I'm not. But here's the thing...I'm tired. I'm afraid that I am entering a time in my life where I feel burnt out. How am I supposed to keep the passion burning? Maybe this is simply a time to learn some discipline. If that is truly the case, then I am failing dramatically. 

Don't get me wrong. I am loving my life right now for the most part. My job is amazing and my friends are the best. I am very very happy - how could I not be? If you knew me, you would understand that to be unhappy just isn't a part of who I am :)

I think I'm just tired of the routine. Maybe I'm getting bored. Maybe I need some change. But how do you get out of a routine when life is so busy that it is built around structure? And even in those few moments that lend themselves toward acts of spontaneity, I still get stuck in the routine of simply hanging out and not really doing anything different. I won't lie... I'm kind of tired of movies. I'm kind of tired of just hanging out. But what else is there to do? I'm just antsy. Maybe I don't feel like I'm really being used. Maybe I need to be challenged more. Maybe I need to go on some trip or take some sort of art class. I don't know. But I need to figure it out soon. I think my boredom (for lack of a better word) is starting to seep into areas of my life that I don't want it too. 

I think I will pray about it. That always works. God is always faithful. There are answers to be found and I am definitely looking and asking... 

Redeeming Eve

Redeeming Eve...is over. This junior high and high school young women's conference that my small group has been planing since September came to an end this past weekend...and what a weekend. Absolutely amazing. 

God, thank you for being there this weekend and touching many lives, healing many hurts and orchestrating needed conversations. 

I am seriously amazed at how beautifully God put this conference together. Every single person, moment, discussion topic, speaker, musician, volunteer...He specifically brought every piece together in unity to make His purpose and desire shine through. Awe Inspiring. Motivating.

It is amazing how God can gently whisper His plan into our ears and how we can simply ignore it as an after-thought, or recognize it as a call for action. How many times do I live my days missing God's subtle whisper? How many times do I miss out on His desires for my life, His plans for using me...when I'm simply not in tune with His Spirit or His will?

For my life is not my own. My life belongs to God. If this is truly what I believe (and it is), then why do I often live as if I'm only living for myself and not for God? How is it that I get side-tracked so easily...that I stray off His path so simply and start treading on my own? 

I find that it is when I slip into thinking that I have things under control, or when I rely on my own self-sufficiency and strength, that I begin my departure from God's lead. I MUST remember that I can do nothing without the strength of my Lord Jesus Christ! If I do not cling to the reality of Jesus Christ, I will be fooled into believing that my few strengths will make up for my many weaknesses as I try and define a right path to tread on my own. 

Oh and how I have failed each time I try and do things on my own! It is only through Christ's power that I am made perfect in my weakness. Therefore, if I loose sight of my true leader, of my true Lord, I will remain lost and forlorn in a world that craves vengeance on me. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.

There is only one who has fought the last battle and has been proven victorious for eternity. It is because Jesus has overcome death, has overcome all temptation and sin that I can call on him for strength and be made perfect in my weakness. And I must call on him because I cannot overcome the evil one without Him.  I will not let the oppressor be victorious over my life. He will not win the battle against me. I will fight against Him with Jesus as my Leader, as my Lord and as my Savior, and be victorious.

In doing so, I will try with all my heart to listen for His whispers in my ear and in my heart. I will listen to His calling and what steps He would have me tread next. I will do everything I can to stand aside and let Him lead, even when I want to be the leader. If I do not let go of my own self-righteousness, I will simply give my opponent a foothold to bring me down... and... I will miss out on opportunities to fight in this battle and be a threat to the kingdom of darkness.

Thank you Lord that we heard your whisper about Redeeming Eve. Thank you that some 75 young women have heard of their true value in You as your daughters and as image bearers of your beauty. Each of them have a vital role to play.  They are relational specialists, agents on a mission, and life givers that have your essence of beauty enthroned in them. Thank you for your abundant love and sacrifice for each one of us. 

Continue to whisper. I will try to keep listening.