Authenticity

I saw this video clip of a dad's reaction to his son's passing grade in math class this morning. And I found myself being brought to tears. Perhaps I'm just emotional today. But even more than that, the authenticity of this Dad's love for his boy shines through. What we can't see are the countless hours this dad spent helping this boy succeed. The many conversations about how perseverance and hard work produce "results." The time spent doing everything he could to build confidence and the knowledge that this boy could "succeed." We don't see the agony or the pain it took to make this moment reality.

What we do see shinning through is the real love this dad has for his boy. We see how proud he is of his boy. And for what? A C grade. Perhaps mediocre? But not for this dad and his boy. This is the authentic expression of true achievement. And that's why I found myself being brought to tears.

I hope one day when I have hopes and dreams for my own children, this type of authentic love and appreciation for them will shine through.

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The Greatest Chefs Just Cook

I've never wanted to be a chef. It's just not a skill set I ever thought I'd have or ever be really good at. In fact, my hopes and dreams around cooking have always been found in the simple successes. For example, I'd love to be able to bake a consistent baked potato. It still mystifies me why baking a potato is so frickin' hard. It never takes the same amount of time at the same temperature. I don't know what the deal is! (And yes I do poke holes in my potatoes every time.)

Alas, cooking has never been my strongest suite, especially when cheese and crackers are so dang convenient... and delicious :)

Well (now that I have so much time on my hands) I'm learning. And tasting. And failing. And everyone once in a while... magic happens. The type of magic that has me thinking that

the greatest chefs just cook.

Yep. I've decided that good cooks, just decide to cook... and try... and experience. And maybe that's just when the greatest discoveries happen. 

Introducing beef ragu with basil lemon peel - debatably the best meal I've ever made. All because I decided to try and actually cook something.

So, thank you beautiful, aroma-filling beef ragu. You have inspired me to just keep cooking something... anything... in the hopes of finding more delicious recipes like yourself. And maybe, just maybe I'll be able to nail down that baked potato some day.

Cha-Cha-Cha-Changes

Wow.

It's crazy that it's been almost one full year since I've posted anything on this blog. How time flies by. It's crazy to think back on where life has taken me and my family and what's been experienced in such a short time.

First Wedding Anniversary Celebration
First House Buying
First Mortgage Payment
First Bathroom Renovation
First Ascent of the Inca Trail and First Sighting of Machu Pichu
First Mt Adams Ascent
First Send of 5.11a (booya! thank god for finger cracks)
First Big Fight with the Husband that Took a FEW TOO MANY Days to Resolve (but resolve we did!)
First Success of Cooking Chicken and Dumplings
First Time Painting a Ceiling (its so much harder than you think!)
First Hawaii Trip with the VanVoorhis Clan

The list goes on and on. Leading to...

The First Layoff.

Yep, I was officially laid off after six years of designing, marketing, planning and executing. Talk about changes. BIG changes. Life altering changes. And you know what? Life is good.

Oh don't get me wrong. It's definitely scary. There will always be those "what-if-no-one-wants-me" thoughts or "will-I-ever-get-hired-again?" feelings that I just have to push away and try to ignore.

But even more than that, I'm on a journey... a sabbatical of sorts. It's time to reconnect the pieces and rediscover what lies beneath an exterior that's become hardened by survival mode. It's time to rediscover who I am and who I want to become.

And so, I'm back to writing and learning and contemplating. All I know is that I'm going to keep showing up in the hopes that I will find HIM faithful on the other side. So far, so good.

Here's to changes.

A dare to live fully, right where you are

"But how? How do we choose to allow the holes to become seeing-through-to-God places? To more-God places? How do I give up resentment for gratitude, gnawing anger for spilling joy? Self-focus for God-communion? To fully live - to live full of grace and joy and all that is beauty eternal. It is possible, wildly... A dare to an emptier, fuller life."

One Thousand Gifts
Ann Voskamp

---------

So many questions... it's time to find the answers. Lead. I'm trying to follow.

Leading

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Yep, I really did have one of the best weekends ever. Consisting of a best friend's bachelorette party, camping near Leavenworth, climbing at Index and celebrating my nephews birthday, you really can't get much better than that. Truly.

Photo of the bulge move on Roger's Corner.
This is not me, but an example of the climb.

On top of it all, the climbing we (Jesse and I) did was awesome! So, usually Jesse, being the most amazing and spectacular climber that he is, leads all the routes and I follow and clean the gear. Well... this weekend up at Index, your truly lead the routes! It was a BIG day for me. So what did I climb? Let me provide some details :)

The first pitch of Roger's Corner was the first climb of the day. Rated at 5.7, it is actually a bit of a beast. We must remember that this is Index and ratings at Index are always way stiffer than compared to say Exit 38 or Vantage. So, the fact that I even wanted to try leading this route is a BIG deal! And on top of that, as you start the route you are faced with about 10 feet of an off width crack where you have to layback and make the move on up. Laybacking happens to be a difficult technique for me, but I did it and made my way the next section where you have to go up over a bulge that's a bit awkward. This was a stemming move that while was not technically difficult, did require commitment. And after a couple attempts, I finally went for it and made it without falling! It was awesome. What a way to start the day at Index!

View of the Great Northern Slab

After that I was feeling pretty confident... which by the way, is the key to climbing. I often find that if my attitude for the day is rich in confidence and the willingness to go for the moves, then I climb much better and have more fun. So, I was feeling pretty good after the first pitch of Roger's Corner so Jesse and I decided to go and climb the Great Northern Slab... and I led it! The whole thing, which is just so cool! It's not only the first multi pitch route that I've ever led, but it also had a couple committing moves and required more thought about how and where to place gear. The first pitch went without a hitch. It's a simple 5.4 section that's a little dirty at the lower section and then cleans up nicely at the top. I built my anchor (which is also a new experience for me) and belayed Jesse up. It all went really well. Then after deciding to go for the second pitch, started up towards the crux. It's another bulge move that's also awkward and requires commitment. After pushing myself up and kind of through this bulgy section, I was pretty much home free. I decided to stay on the thiner crack line on the left and made my ascent. Toward the top I began running out of small pro and so decided to go for the top a little more than perhaps I should. I was super close to the anchor and on this not so secure edge when I look over and see a wasp sitting right next to my hand! Ahh! SOOO scary! And I'm on lead about 10 feet above my last piece! Fortunately, as I start shaking, the guy already at the chains told me calmly to focus on my climbing. That brought me back around and I was able to make the moves to the chains. Whew! I made it! Again, I belayed Jesse up and after enjoying the view for a while we rapped down. What a good climb!

All in all, we had a great day climbing. It's really rewarding to start attempting more lead climbing and gaining that confidence to simply go for some climbs that seemed so unattainable even just last year. I'm so thankful to have a husband who is willing to help teach me and encourage me along this journey!

What a great weekend it was. Can't wait to get back out there and try some more.

As He leads... it's our choice to follow.

"The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my should. He leads me in the paths of righteousness for His name's sake..."

Hello World

It has been quite a while since I’ve updated anything on this blog. I guess sometimes life just get’s a hold of you and before you know it, you are carried away into the unknown of engagement, dogs, planning, decorations, flowers, wedding bells, honeymoon drinks on the beach, and then finally home… with the one you love the most, create dreams around, snuggle with, and find joy in the everyday with.

If you haven’t guessed, this past year I got engaged and am now married to the love of my life. And yes, we have a dog. She is so sweet and cuddly, and well… FAST. She likes to chase tennis balls and run as I bike. She also likes to sit on my lap… all 55 lbs of her amazingness. She likes to lick calves, toes, arms, necks… basically anything she can get her tongue on (gross huh?).

This is our little family. Just the three of us. And now we embark together on adventures of climbing, camping, exploring what “regular” life means and re-defining the words “love” and “commitment.”

It’s true this past year has been quite a whirlwind of blessings. And as Jesse, Scout and I settle into the everyday, it is time to write again. May many more blessings meet us in the present… and the future… as we find our way and create a new life together. The real adventure has just begun.

The days are getting shorter

Fall is fast approaching. In fact, I believe it has arrived in a frenzy. It is cold and damp in the mornings... windy and cloudy in the evenings. Or, at least it was last night. It sounds like this weekend will be filled with the last rays of summer sunshine... be sure to take advantage while you can this weekend.

Time. It is moving way to fast these days. August blurred by without a backward glance or a wave goodbye. Fun as it was (climbing adventures around every corner!) it just went by too fast.

All of life is these days... is going by too fast, I mean. How do we hold on to the small moments and enjoy every second to its full? How are we to drink life's sweet nectar when we can't seem to slow down enough to wait for it to be poured into our glass half full?

I suppose it takes intentionality... as all the greatest things in life require. Intentionality to slow down. To relax. To invest in others. To invest in ourselves as well. Far to often we work hard to light the fire within others' lives but forget to spend the time working on ourselves.

Let September be a month of slow transition... and transformation. As the leaves turn brightly, may each of us change right alongside. Life is meant to be enjoyed... but I'm not so sure we can partake to the full if we are moving at the speed of light. Its time for a slow month for deliberation and intentionality.

Here we go. What a hope it brings.

Into the Wild Blue

Kayaking has always been - in a sense - intimidating to me. Let me spell it out very clearly... I have wimpy arms. So, paddling for 10 miles a day sounds exhausting and grueling. And you know what? It kinda is! But really, its not as bad as one would think. In fact, its surprisingly refreshing, energizing, and peaceful... but of course it would be in the San Juan Islands where beauty abounds, where seals follow you for miles, and where the strains of life seem to lift above the clouds... providing just a moment of relief from the stresses of every day life. Ah, a moment to breath and enjoy real life. What a joy.

Needless to say, I am ever so thankful for the opportunity to spend three glorious days paddling in the San Juans and camping on small, seemingly insignificant islands along the way. It's in these experiences and moments that we remember what's real, what's important, and what makes all the difference. It's in these moments where life re-fills the empty areas in our souls so we can continue taking steps forward when we go back to the "real world"... however, I don't really think the monotony of our repetitive work-lives define the real world... I think its found out there. Out in the wilderness, and deep within our hearts. It's happens when things seem to come together and display how life really is good. Sometimes we just don't know it until we listen to the rolling sounds of the ocean, or hear the silent strength of rock, or feel the radiance of color from a rainbow. But its there waiting for us to come and experience it for ourselves. So, let's go. Let's keep experiencing the deep joys of life so our hearts overflow with love to be poured out.

The Land of Cracks and Slab - Squamish

The land of cracks and slab... more commonly known as Squamish, BC... is a beautiful place of mountains, rivers, waterfalls, ocean views and the most glorious granite rock you can find. It is a rock climbers heaven, complete with thousands upon thousands of routes for the beginner and advanced climber.

Thanks to the best boyfriend ever, I was privy to three amazing days of climbing in Squamish, this past weekend. As climbing always is for me, it was a weekend of extreme highs and lows... all of which stretch me to the limit. It is a combination of breaking-down confidence just to build it back up. It is to lean on unknown strength within to overcome fears and panic that my own inner thoughts create - all while fighting to find deliverance in the little focus and skill I actually have. What a ride!

And therefore, it was a great weekend of successes, and (dare I say it?) failures. I sent my first 5.9, my first 5.10b (although it was only one move of 5.10b!), and even led a super chill 5.4 on trad! ... I also cried on a 5.8 (hate that!), fell a ton of times on a couple 5.10s, wouldn't do a 5.8 because it looked to scary, and was told by a climber guide that I have boyfriend syndrome (aka, I use Jesse as a climbing crutch) Ah. Basically the guide told me that I should lead everything from now on. Yeah right! No way! I have a new appreciation for leading. Baby steps, I guess.

Regardless, it was a fantastic weekend, leaving me with more bruises, scrapes and determination to continue this road of becoming a better climber. And I'm looking forward to every new hand jam, finger lock, heel hook, and layback along the way.

Waiting

Why does it seem like happiness or contentment always rely on other people or other things?

The truth is that we are each responsible for our own feelings and how we perceive the stage we play on. However, life still has a way of taking things out of our own control and forcing unwanted realities upon us.

And the question is, how are we supposed to interact with those unwanted realities in a way that enables us to grow, smile at life's difficulties, and take steps forward towards possible solutions? How are we supposed to remain positive in the light of unsought out realities?

Because when we can't smile or provide optimistic hope for future possibilities, we feel trapped and confined... unable to break forth beyond a net of "cant's." And when life's cant's build up on top of each other... one after the other... how are we supposed to knock them down?

Perhaps it comes down to waiting. Being patient. Putting our hope in time. But who really wants to do that? Waiting is hard. And why does waiting take more energy and strength than doing, anyway?

Unfortunately, sometimes waiting is all we can seem to do.

And until then, we are left relying on others... their time and their abilities... to help us through this time of waiting.

Maybe its this giving up of control that makes us grow the most... even when we don't feel like growing at all.

Its been a while

Yes, I know its been a long while since I last posted on this thing. Life has taken a hold of me and hasn't let go... but in a good way, you know? After traveling for work for about a month, settling back into the swing of things has taken more effort than expected. But its been ok, too. Here's a couple updates for you:

Jesse gets home from Hong Kong TODAY!! I'm so excited! He's been gone for basically two months... which is two months toooooo long! Needless to say, this week is going to be SO great with him being home. I seriously cannot wait until later tonight when I get to hug him again. Counting the hours down... :)

Work has been hard lately. The world wide web is a little too big and revealing to say much more... so I'll leave it at that. Trusting and hoping things get better soon.

I love climbing. They say that once you try climbing it becomes an addiction. I never thought it was real, but now I understand. It is one of my most favorite things in the world! And I'm getting better every week. I can't wait until I can do more of the hard stuff, but I'm getting there. My goal for this summer is to climb a 5.10A OUTSIDE... which for me will be a BIG deal. My other goal is to try a bit of lead climbing and see how I like it. Ah! Its all just SO exciting! Yay!

SUMMER. I cannot wait for summer. It is going to be oh so good. But right now its raining slash pouring. But its coming... just a couple months away. Celebrate with me. Summer is coming soon.

1 week down

One week down... two to go.

Yep, one week of my three week training trip across the rural US of A is officially complete. Feels good. Feels exhausting too. This past week was filled with travel, 3 hour training sessions (sometimes 2 per day) and A LOT of driving between each rural town in the SE that Northland services.

What an experience! What have I learned so far?

• Georgians are terrible drivers
• Scallops in Statesboro are delicious!
• I can ride a horse and even trot/jump over a pole thingy (yes its a thing!)
• Toccoa Falls (NC) is absolutely gorgeous
  
• The SE puts WAY too much dressing on their salads
• Small logos on billboards are ok
• Yumion in Vidalia, GA is a celebrity... and yes I got my picture with him
• Strawberries picked from a farm are WAY better than the ones you get at Safeway
• Homemade granola is amazing... so is jam
• A positive and willing attitude will take you far
• Presenting for three hours, sometimes 6 hours, each day makes your legs hurt from all the standing
• I like trust falls
• East coast time is a 12 hour difference to Hong Kong
• Small towns are not created equal... some are way cooler than others

I'm here for one quick day and then I'm off to Texas on Sunday. Should be another great trip! And don't worry, I'll be back in time for the Easter Sunrise Service at 6 AM! Be there. Westminster Chapel in Bellevue :) How's that for a shameless plug?

Back from the (nearly) dead

Wow, this week flew by in a blurry mess of stomach flu, sleep, exhaustion, starvation, work overload, and now... almost rest.

Sunday, 5:30 pm - Raced home from the store and ran to the bathroom. Threw up three times.

Sunday, 9 pm - Still throwing up... dang it, i may never be able to eat Cheeze Its again

Monday, 1 am - Will I ever stop throwing up? Made a make-shift bed in the bathroom

Monday, 4 am - So tired. More vomit. I'm so dehydrated.

Monday, 5:30 am - Last round of stomach flu... wow, i never knew the body could be so sore. What a work out.

Monday, 6:05 am - Skype Jesse... what a mess i am. Am i going to live?

Monday, 10 am - Dad to the rescue with Pedialite, 7up, soup and crackers!

Monday - Tuesday - Sleep like a dead woman... only waking up for a little drink of pedialite

Wednesday, 10 am - Oh yeah, i have to drop by work... but i'm still so exhausted...

Wednesday, 3 pm - Back in bed. Eyes shut and...

Thursday, 7 am - Roll out of bed after skyping Jesse... off to a hellish day at work. Am i really leaving for three weeks on Sunday to train CSRs across the country?

Thursday, 9pm - Just leaving the Apple Store after 2 excruciating hours of hopeless Mac issues... soooooo tired.... and... asleep

Friday - Finally prepared for my 3 week travel adventure for work! Feeling 90% better! Leaving Sunday and ready (dare i say it?) for anything!

PS: Thank you so much to those who prayed for me all week! I desperately needed it! The stomach flu kicked my butt to the ground. Made for one of the most challenging weeks of my life. So thank you for the prayers and thoughts!

Love Already Won

Rob Bell recently came out with a new book titled, "Love Wins. A Book About Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived." The premise resides around the afterlife. When we die, we will either go to Heaven or Hell. However, Rob Bell believes that in Hell, we will still have the option to find salvation in Jesus. Ultimately, he's proclaiming that "hell" may not even be a physical place. He's proclaiming that God's love is so great that he will pursue those who are lost in Hell until each of them chooses Him. For those who do not know, this is untraditional Christian thought. So much so, that Rob Bell is being labeled as a heretic by some. Perhaps he is. Perhaps he is not. I'm not here to label anyone. But I do have thoughts that I need to get out. So here goes...

Rob Bell, you ask, "Who says that God can't pursue people's hearts even after our physical death?"

Good point. We don't know the answers to the afterlife. We can only rest in 100% confidence in the knowledge that there is an afterlife and what we do in this life effect where we will go when we die... Heaven (whatever that means, with Jesus) or Hell (whatever that means, without Jesus).

Maybe God will save sinners in the afterlife... but what if he doesn't?

How can someone be sure that there will still be a chance in the afterlife to ask for forgiveness and live with Jesus? We can't be sure. I think its awfully foolish to wait for an option that may never be available. Maybe it will be. But why put all your eggs in a basket that may have a huge, gapping hole in it? Why deny love now?

I think the right questions to ask is, "What are we going to do in this life time that will make lasting impact for God's glory now?"

The Bible says eternity is now. We must live in that truth. We must live with eternal minds now. What happens today, in this moment, will have lasting impact. Therefore, I will focus my heart on loving God, living for Him, making Him my savior every day, doing what I can to save more of God's people now, and to bring God glory all the days of my life... on earth and in heaven. This is my mission.

I will not wait or rest on a possibility that may not exist... and I believe that this idea may cause people to wait. We must not stray. We must hold on to the truths that the Bible proclaims. God is Lord. Jesus is Savior. And we each have the choice to put our faith in Him and live in Freedom form our bondage, today.

You see, Love already won.

Love already beat death. Love already offers the gift of salvation and freedom to each and everyone of us NOW. It is our simple choice... today and tomorrow... to choose to live in Freedom, or not.

I think we put God in a box whenever we say "this is how God is. and this is how God does things." Yes, God is love. But perhaps giving us a chance on earth to proclaim God's glory and accept the gift of Jesus' death and resurrection that saves us from our sins is love enough. Who can say there is any bigger expression of love than that? Why are we always looking for something else? Something that makes that simple fact better, as if anything more than that could be better?

Rob Bell, yes it is ok to ask questions and ponder the unknowns. I myself wonder what Heaven will be like... if there really are streets of gold, and what worship will look like when we get to be with the Lord. But I will not stand for you labeling how God chooses to love or proclaim ideas that we have no way of knowing if they are truth. They may be... who knows? But that's just it... no one knows.

God says... "I Am who I Am." That is all we need to know. Now is the time to trust. Now is the time to believe. Now is the time to make eternal decisions.

Please don't wait on any idea that may just be that... an idea. Please, make your decisions on truth, now.

Live on strong

For three and a half years I've had this little plant on my desk. For three and a half years I have watered it, pruned it and tendered to its every need. I once even put one of those fertilizer thingys in its soil to provide more nutrients so it could grow strong. I love this plant.

Well, I am sad to say that after three and a half years, my plant looks like this... you may not be able to see from this photo, but every leaf looks brown... as if life hit it hard, leaving it downtrodden, with little will left to live... leaving it wanting.

I'm sorry little plant. I'm sorry that life has left its mark on your wilting branches. Little plant, I will do my very best to bring you back to life... but I am going to have to prune you and leave you with only two branches. Just remember... thee must pruneth to make room for great growth. There's more life left in you little plant. Live on. Live on strong and grow great and mighty as I know you can.

And birds will sing

Too many questions. Too many uncertainties threaten to infiltrate the deep troughs of our hearts that hold and protect our most precious - and our most vulnerable - thoughts, hopes and dreams. The fears of failure and loneliness rest upon the tips of arrows as poison, aimed at all we want to be, experience and love. How to choose? How to be certain and know? Who wins the wrestling match when it lies within?

It's a false loneliness brought forth by an irrational fear of mistakes not yet made and that which may never be made... and as insecurities are forced into the light against our will, the heart and mind become tangled with doubt. Oh what to do?

Perhaps this is the answer that brings light to the dark places of the soul... and hope and freedom where chains were once bound...

This is the thing though... We create because we were made to create, having been made in the image of God, whose first role was Creator. He was and is a million different things, but in the beginning, he was a creator. That means something for us, I think. We were made to be the things that he is: forgivers, redeemers, second chance-givers, truth-tellers, hope-bringers. And we were certainly, absolutely, made to be creators.

If you were made to create, you won't feel whole and healthy and alive until you do. My husband is a pianist and songwriter, and you can set a timer by his need to play and create. If it's been too long, I can feel it in our house, like something gone bad in the refrigerator or a dead mouse in the walls. He was made to play, to sing, to create with sounds and notes and words, and when he doesn't, he's not himself...

Get up. Create like you're training for a marathon, methodically, day by day. Learn your tricks, find a friend, leave the dirty dishes in the sink for a while. This is your chance to become what you believe deep in your secret heart you might be. You are an artist, a guide, a prophet. You are a storyteller, a visionary, the Pied Piper himself. Do the work, learn the skills, and make art, because of what the act of creation will create in you. (Shauna Niequist)

And the act of creation will create life within... beautiful, joyous, redeeming and hope-filled life. A reason for celebration and dancing. Where the songs of birds can't be quieted, and the brilliance of color can't be shielded. Where the radiance of freedom blazes a path forth from deep within our hearts to touch those around us, so luminous that others can't help but stop and stand in awe and wonder at the very first creator. This is our mission... my mission. So why does the pondering of uncertainty and insecurity remain? Fear, get behind my back.

... And I'm left wondering if this makes sense to anyone other than me...

What could be better than this?

Great weekend. A couple birthday celebrations sandwiched in between an amazing trip to climb some rocks at Vantage. Just imagine... 45 degrees of sunshine blazing down as you hang from the side of some rock pillars. What could be better than that? Honestly? I'm not too sure. It was a great trip. A much needed trip for my sanity... to get outside and do stuff just feels good. Hopefully this type of activity will keep my cabin fever at bay for a little while longer as my knee continues to decide whether or not it feels like healing today, or maybe tomorrow. It's pretty indecisive... much like my occasional self. Ironic. Don't you think? [Alanis Morissette: Yeah, I really do think.] Thankfully, I've been given the gift of rock climbing during this time of patience and acceptance. Booya. Life is good.

Remembering

Yesterday as I got off work and walked to my bus stop, a swarm of fire trucks, ambulances, police cars and officers swarmed into my path.

As I got closer to the Macy's parking garage, I realized the cross walk was closed. An accident, or something, had happened. And when I rounded the bend to the other side of the street, it all came into light.

People everywhere were in a frenzy. Fingers pointed up to the top of the 9 story parking garage and traced each floor down to the ground... and that's when I realized... a man either jumped or was pushed off the top of the parking garage and fell to the ground moments before I had arrived to witness the event.

Instinctively, I looked into the window of the ambulance on the other side of the street. Seeing paramedics working hard to resuscitate the fallen victim, I turned away. What more could be done?

I write this post in remembrance of that man. Without knowing him, the struggles he faced or the joys he experienced, I ask each of you to say a prayer for his family. His friends. And that he would be remembered with joy and celebration... instead of defeat.

I am left hoping that with his frail departure he has met much hope and joy at the doors of eternity...

Bittersweet

It's a rainy Tuesday. Comforting actually. Feeling struck by the irony of life... that which your desires fail to match your ability to obtain them. Life that which seems stuck between a hard place and a rock, so to speak. Both a bitter taste and a sweet existence.

I suppose it is in these times that we must look to grow, even when the question remains: how much is there really left to grow? More patience? More trust? More faith? I suppose there's always more to grow, even when we feel helpless to water the seed.

Shauna Niequist writes it best, "Bittersweet is the practice of believing that we really do need the bitter and the sweet, and that a life of nothing but sweetness rots both your teeth and your soul. Bitter is what makes us strong, what forces us to push through, what helps us earn the lines on our faces and the calluses on our hands. Sweet is nice enough, but bittersweet is beautiful, nuanced, full of depth and complexity. Bittersweet is courageous, gutsy..."

What a beautiful concept, yet seemingly difficult to put to use. I don't feel courageous. Or gutsy. I feel stuck... Stuck between the desire to explore, run, hike and experience all the world's beauty and the inability to do just that.

And while frustration abounds in this seemingly small area of life, celebration and thankfulness conquer the remainder of life. Oh, how easy it is to let the bitter parts of life overtake the sweet ones. I suppose it is far better to fight for life-breathing perception than to submit and indulge in self pity.

"So, this is the work I'm doing now, and the work I invite you into: when life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow." And when life passes out the sweetness of sugar and the bitterness of chocolate? Then partake in the gift of togetherness with the joy of celebration and the hope of growth leading your every step forward.