Living in the Deep Trough

Why does Christianity seem so shallow sometimes? Why does Jesus sometimes seem to not be enough? 

Let's be honest here. Regardless of whether you're a Christian or not, there's a high probability that at some point in your life you've wondered, "Is this it?" or "Is this what Christianity is all about?" Some of you might be scared of this - afraid to voice it out loud or admit these thoughts exist - fearing God's response to the question. Oftentimes Christians today will do almost anything in order to avoid the appearance of having a "lacking" or "unfulfilling" relationship with Jesus... because that is what we are supposed to have. Right? We are always supposed to have everything together all the time. Because we're Christians.

But can we just be honest for a second? Can we let go of our pride of trying to have it right all the time and take a deeper look? Because we don't have it right the majority of the time. And we can't. We are merely and gloriously humans - mistakes and blemishes included.

And that is exactly it! "Christians" are humans! We make mistakes, learn from mistakes and grow from mistakes. Transformation consumes us when we are humbled and open-hearted to Jesus. This is where Jesus often works and transforms us the most... when we fail and return to Him.

But "Christianity" sometimes forgets this - or doesn't allow it. Instead, a painted picture of perfection is poured into our minds and confusion ensues in our souls... because we aren't and can never be perfect while we live on this earth. And sometimes "Christianity" becomes a 12-step program for our sin and is force fed to those who will accept it. And that is when authenticity is misplaced, forgotten and unwanted.

But the term "Christian" isn't supposed to be a noun. It isn't supposed to be a label at all. Originally, it was used as a description to define those who followed Christ and it is an adjective of authenticity.

I've tried living the packaged 12-step Christianity program. It doesn't work. It leaves me feeling empty and exhausted in failure instead of renewed with purpose and transformation.

All I can do is strive after authenticity. I'm still learning what this truly means, but I know that it doesn't sugarcoat my messiness. It doesn't call me to be perfect. It challenges me to be real as Christ created me to be. And all I can do is try and follow Christ so that my "Christianity" label might become the true adjective that it was meant to be - far more real and transforming than any noun could ever strive to be.

Living in the deep trough of reality... this is my attempt to glorify Jesus and to reflect His glory through my life. It's not perfect, but at least its something real.