Another Promise Made

The reality of the bride and groom, which is also their joy, is of course that they love each other... They love each other indeed, and in a grim world their love is a delight to behold, but love as a response of the heart to loveliness, love as primarily an emotion, is only part of what a Christian wedding celebrates, and beyond it are levels that sentimentality cannot see. Because the promises that are given are not just promises to love the other when the other is lovely and lovable, but to love the other for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, and that means to love the other even at half-past three in the morning when the baby is crying and to love each other with a terrible cold in the head and when the bills have to be paid. The love that is affirmed at a wedding is not just a condition of the heart but an act of the will, and the promise that love makes is to will the other's good even at the expense sometimes of its own good - and that is quite a promise.

Frederick Buechner

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Wishing Trevor and Heather Uhler much love and laughter as they continue on this journey of life, now together. Love you both dearly. Congrats on this great promise made to one another.

The Party's Complete

I bought goggles today. At Walgreens, of all places. Why? Because I've decided to take up swimming... because I'm still not supposed to run or hike because of my knee. BTW, I didn't tear my meniscus, so no surgery, which is awesome. But now they think its a problem with my IT band which I guess takes a looooooong time to heal. I have a friend who had the issue and it took a year to heal. Blah. Fortunately, my new PT is already making progress on my knee... therefore, my hope has been restored for some amazing adventures this summer... Mount Adams and St. Helens included. And that is why I'm defaulting to swimming. Even though I kind of hate it. And kind of suck at it... I'm still going for it because its what's going to keep me ready for the moment I get the OK to hike. This is my hope anyway... we'll see how it plays out.

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To get my MBA? Or not to? That is the question... we'll see what the divine has planned for me. Waiting and trusting for now.

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It's almost August... when my lease comes up... and the ending of an epic two years comes into play. My roommates and I are dispersing with celebrations of marriage, traveling adventures, and eastside jobs. But I'll remain in this wonderful Seattle city. I will miss my wonderful roommates to death... but am expectant for what this next phase of life holds. We'll see how the living situation pans out. For now, I'm soaking up each and every day that we have left together... as roommates... not as friends, because that's forever. So we at least have that going for us :)

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We watched a huge german shepherd this weekend... his name was Max. And he was awesome. I made him cuddle with me and I think he eventually learned to love it. This weekend just further confirms that one day I will own a huge, lovable pup of my own... and I cannot wait.

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I've been driving a rental ford focus for the past week. Because a metro bus hit my PARKED car. Blah. Talk about inconvenient and annoying. Luckily, I get my beloved car back today. I'm stoked.

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And I'll leave you with a quote from Frederick Buechner:

The grace of God means something like this: Here is your life. You might never have been, but you are because the party wouldn't have been complete without you.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

Remember that song? Remember The Night at the Roxbury... bobbing heads, broken glass and the two most awkward movie characters EVER created. Ha! Awesomeness for sure. True love?Not so much.

Lately, I've just been processing that question... what is love? Like true love. Not friendship love, not puppy love, not cheeze-it and diet coke love [although possibly close]. What is real, deep, I-want-to-be-married-to-you-forever love? And what makes it different?

Just for the record, I'm probably not the best person to be discussing love. Have I ever been in love? Hmmm, yep, probably... but I'm not married, don't love another right now and don't know when or if I ever will.

But its still an important question. And I find myself thinking about it a lot lately. You see, many of my friends either have, or are going to get married this summer, and I wonder what makes their love different... what makes them jump into the adventure called marriage. I mean, its kind of scary. Don't you think? FOR-E-VER. Whew! That's a looooooong time. But they go for it! Jumping in with both feet... ready for anything.

Because of love.

So, why?

To be honest, I'm not sure. I don't have that understanding. But I do observe it. The beginning of simple [or not so simple] attraction, the manifestation of deeper and deeper feelings, and eventually the transformation of a decision. THE decision...

...to love another so gloriously and fiercely in their complete humanness. Selflessly.

Whew! That's kind of a big deal. To fiercely love someone in their weakness and vulnerability. What? Really? It's totally counter-intuitive and must take immeasurable amounts of selflessness and intentionality... no wonder people say marriage refines the heart and character of those who decide to partake in the adventure. Because love is difficult. It has to be.

But, love IS real. And it's fierce. It doesn't just sit on the way-side. It takes action. Is an epic. Heroic. Majestic. Surpassing the usual. Impressive in quality. Important to history. A presence. An enabler. A protector. An encouragement. A catalyst.

What is love? Baby don't hurt me.

It requires risk. But in the end it has to be worth it. It is worth it. And that's why people - my beautiful friends included - jump in and go for it. Maybe one day I'll be brave enough to go for it too. Or maybe that's the difference... love must build bravery too.

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And just for remembrance purposes... sooooo ridiculous ha!

Tattooed Ankles

Yesterday was a bit comical. Two doctors in one day. One: I have a sinus infection. Two: My MRI on my knee is complete (but I have to wait until June 8th for the results).

After my first doctor's appointment, I went to the pharmacy to fill my prescription. There was a man there waiting for a prescription as well... and he had the coolest tattoos around both his ankles. Seriously very cool.

I finally got my prescription, bought a cool little plant from the Trader Joe's next door, and went home. Watched a little TV and relaxed and then was off to my MRI appointment.

And guess what? Mr. Tattoos on his Ankles was there too. Ha! Smmaaaaaal world friends. We laughed, talked about how broken our bodies are right now and then both got MRIs.

"Take care," he said as we parted ways.

It was nice to make a random connection like that with a stranger. Wish that happened more in life. Just saying.

Anyway, that's it. Random I know.

In the literal sense of the word

I feel broken... literally.

My knee still has not healed. I went to an orthopedist yesterday. Got x-rayed. Getting an MRI tomorrow. Torn lateral meniscus? We shall see. We shall see very very soon. I'm not sure what to hope for. If its torn then I can get surgery and finally be on my way to a full recovery. If its not, then what the hell is going on with my knee and how much longer will it take to heal? Its already been 4 months. The doctor says my quad has atrophy... meaning the muscle is diminishing from less usage... he didn't mention any other options besides a torn meniscus. Needless to say, I'm ready for some answers. I've got mountains to climb in July... serious ones. And so I need some serious answers. And a seriously quick recovery.

My head hurts. It feels like its either going to explode or implode... not sure which one. Hope neither happens... but then again, if it did it probably wouldn't hurt anymore. Ugh. Sinus infection maybe? Should go to the doctor, but I'm getting sick of doctors. What to do? What to do? More coffee...

I fell on my wrist the other day. It still hurts. Not sprained.... merely annoyed, or strained. In any case, typing bugs it. But that's what I do all day, so I may as well continue and keep trying to ignore it.

So, when I fell the other day, the impact on my wrist must have also impacted my upper arm/shoulder/deltoid/i don't know what muscle it actually is, but it hurts. And blow drying and straightening my hair is taking longer because the hurting arm/shoulder requires breaks from being used. Blah. Good thing I didn't miss my bus this morning.

The irony? Everything that hurts is on my right side. Feel free to call me a right-sided gimp for now. My left side won't take offense.

The dichotomy between good, strong, courageous and adventurous... and stop! slow down! don't do that! ouch! is driving me crazy... Which side do I listen to? Can I listen to both at the same time? Not sure...

Ok, my gripping is over. Everything will heal in time... hopefully the time will be fast, quick, like the speed of light. I'm crossing my fingers... on my left side. We'll see if that helps.

L-O-V-E

This weekend was truly amazing. My good friends Taylor and Carly got married...

and my heart is oh so happy...

yep...

Joy-filled.

Treading Life

Am I at a standstill? Have I been in the same spot for the last year? Or am I moving forward... or backward... or back and forth?

I recently re-read some posts I made a year back... and I feel like I'm behind from where I was then. Discouraging? I'm not sure. More like accepting. Accepting where I'm at, what I've learned (or at least am trying to learn)... and looking forward to where I'm going (which I'm not entirely sure where that is).

So, for now, just call me the Dawn Treader... I'm sailing through this ocean called life and I'm definitely afloat... just trying to figure out how to work the compass right now. And how to trust the compass.

For now, Frederick Beuchner's prayer is mine:

Father and Lord,

Most near and most far, listen to our silence before thee as well as to our prayers, because often it is the silence that speaks better of our need. Speak thy joy into our silence. Breath thy life into our less than life, not for our own sakes only but for the sake of those to whom, with thy life in us, we may ourselves bring life.

Much as we wish, not one of us can bring back yesterday or shape tomorrow. Only today is ours, and it will not be ours for long, and once it is gone it will never in all time be ours again. Thou only knowest what it holds in store for us, yet even we know something of what it will hold. The chance to speak the truth, to show mercy, to ease another's burden. The chance to resist evil, to remember all the good times and the good people of our past, to be brave, to be strong, to be glad. We know that today as every day our lives will be touched by thee and that one way or another thou wilt speak to us before we sleep, for the very moments themselves of our lives are thy words to us. Give us ears to hear thee speak. Give us hearts to quicken as thou drawest near. Amen.