Not by me

Why do we fear? Why do we occasionally find ourselves petrified with panic stricken minds and hearts? Often they are illogical... like my fear of bees. But I can kind of control my fear with bees. Yes, I scream and run away (who wouldn't?)... but bees don't seep into my mind, entice my thoughts to wander toward terror-filled possibilities and feelings. I know, sounds twisted... a little messed up... and it probably is... but you probably understand a little about what I'm saying here. I think we all deal with run-away-imaginations. But what about when your imagination is actually real? What then? And the thing is, once you're on the edge, there's no turning back. Fear grips, and its hold is tight. I try not to think about it... I try to change my thoughts... and oftentimes it works. But what about those times that it doesn't? How can it be overcome then? Not by me. Not by myself.

And so once again, I find myself clinging to this:

He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

I will say of the Lord, "He is my refuge and my fortress, my God in whom I trust."

Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare

and from the deadly pestilence.

He will cover you with his feathers,

and under his winds you will find refuge;

his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

You will not fear the terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,

nor the plague that destroys at midday.

A thousands may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

You will only observe with your eyes

and see the punishment of the wicked.

If you make the Most High your dwelling - even the Lord, who is my refuge -

then no harm will befall you, no disaster will come near your tent.

For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways;

They will lift you up in their hands,

so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;

you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

"Because he loves me," says the Lord, "I will rescue him;

I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

He will call upon me, and I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble,

I will deliver him and honor him.

With long life will I satisfy him

and show him my salvation."

Psalm 91