Into the Wild Blue

Kayaking has always been - in a sense - intimidating to me. Let me spell it out very clearly... I have wimpy arms. So, paddling for 10 miles a day sounds exhausting and grueling. And you know what? It kinda is! But really, its not as bad as one would think. In fact, its surprisingly refreshing, energizing, and peaceful... but of course it would be in the San Juan Islands where beauty abounds, where seals follow you for miles, and where the strains of life seem to lift above the clouds... providing just a moment of relief from the stresses of every day life. Ah, a moment to breath and enjoy real life. What a joy.

Needless to say, I am ever so thankful for the opportunity to spend three glorious days paddling in the San Juans and camping on small, seemingly insignificant islands along the way. It's in these experiences and moments that we remember what's real, what's important, and what makes all the difference. It's in these moments where life re-fills the empty areas in our souls so we can continue taking steps forward when we go back to the "real world"... however, I don't really think the monotony of our repetitive work-lives define the real world... I think its found out there. Out in the wilderness, and deep within our hearts. It's happens when things seem to come together and display how life really is good. Sometimes we just don't know it until we listen to the rolling sounds of the ocean, or hear the silent strength of rock, or feel the radiance of color from a rainbow. But its there waiting for us to come and experience it for ourselves. So, let's go. Let's keep experiencing the deep joys of life so our hearts overflow with love to be poured out.

The Land of Cracks and Slab - Squamish

The land of cracks and slab... more commonly known as Squamish, BC... is a beautiful place of mountains, rivers, waterfalls, ocean views and the most glorious granite rock you can find. It is a rock climbers heaven, complete with thousands upon thousands of routes for the beginner and advanced climber.

Thanks to the best boyfriend ever, I was privy to three amazing days of climbing in Squamish, this past weekend. As climbing always is for me, it was a weekend of extreme highs and lows... all of which stretch me to the limit. It is a combination of breaking-down confidence just to build it back up. It is to lean on unknown strength within to overcome fears and panic that my own inner thoughts create - all while fighting to find deliverance in the little focus and skill I actually have. What a ride!

And therefore, it was a great weekend of successes, and (dare I say it?) failures. I sent my first 5.9, my first 5.10b (although it was only one move of 5.10b!), and even led a super chill 5.4 on trad! ... I also cried on a 5.8 (hate that!), fell a ton of times on a couple 5.10s, wouldn't do a 5.8 because it looked to scary, and was told by a climber guide that I have boyfriend syndrome (aka, I use Jesse as a climbing crutch) Ah. Basically the guide told me that I should lead everything from now on. Yeah right! No way! I have a new appreciation for leading. Baby steps, I guess.

Regardless, it was a fantastic weekend, leaving me with more bruises, scrapes and determination to continue this road of becoming a better climber. And I'm looking forward to every new hand jam, finger lock, heel hook, and layback along the way.

Waiting

Why does it seem like happiness or contentment always rely on other people or other things?

The truth is that we are each responsible for our own feelings and how we perceive the stage we play on. However, life still has a way of taking things out of our own control and forcing unwanted realities upon us.

And the question is, how are we supposed to interact with those unwanted realities in a way that enables us to grow, smile at life's difficulties, and take steps forward towards possible solutions? How are we supposed to remain positive in the light of unsought out realities?

Because when we can't smile or provide optimistic hope for future possibilities, we feel trapped and confined... unable to break forth beyond a net of "cant's." And when life's cant's build up on top of each other... one after the other... how are we supposed to knock them down?

Perhaps it comes down to waiting. Being patient. Putting our hope in time. But who really wants to do that? Waiting is hard. And why does waiting take more energy and strength than doing, anyway?

Unfortunately, sometimes waiting is all we can seem to do.

And until then, we are left relying on others... their time and their abilities... to help us through this time of waiting.

Maybe its this giving up of control that makes us grow the most... even when we don't feel like growing at all.

Its been a while

Yes, I know its been a long while since I last posted on this thing. Life has taken a hold of me and hasn't let go... but in a good way, you know? After traveling for work for about a month, settling back into the swing of things has taken more effort than expected. But its been ok, too. Here's a couple updates for you:

Jesse gets home from Hong Kong TODAY!! I'm so excited! He's been gone for basically two months... which is two months toooooo long! Needless to say, this week is going to be SO great with him being home. I seriously cannot wait until later tonight when I get to hug him again. Counting the hours down... :)

Work has been hard lately. The world wide web is a little too big and revealing to say much more... so I'll leave it at that. Trusting and hoping things get better soon.

I love climbing. They say that once you try climbing it becomes an addiction. I never thought it was real, but now I understand. It is one of my most favorite things in the world! And I'm getting better every week. I can't wait until I can do more of the hard stuff, but I'm getting there. My goal for this summer is to climb a 5.10A OUTSIDE... which for me will be a BIG deal. My other goal is to try a bit of lead climbing and see how I like it. Ah! Its all just SO exciting! Yay!

SUMMER. I cannot wait for summer. It is going to be oh so good. But right now its raining slash pouring. But its coming... just a couple months away. Celebrate with me. Summer is coming soon.

1 week down

One week down... two to go.

Yep, one week of my three week training trip across the rural US of A is officially complete. Feels good. Feels exhausting too. This past week was filled with travel, 3 hour training sessions (sometimes 2 per day) and A LOT of driving between each rural town in the SE that Northland services.

What an experience! What have I learned so far?

• Georgians are terrible drivers
• Scallops in Statesboro are delicious!
• I can ride a horse and even trot/jump over a pole thingy (yes its a thing!)
• Toccoa Falls (NC) is absolutely gorgeous
  
• The SE puts WAY too much dressing on their salads
• Small logos on billboards are ok
• Yumion in Vidalia, GA is a celebrity... and yes I got my picture with him
• Strawberries picked from a farm are WAY better than the ones you get at Safeway
• Homemade granola is amazing... so is jam
• A positive and willing attitude will take you far
• Presenting for three hours, sometimes 6 hours, each day makes your legs hurt from all the standing
• I like trust falls
• East coast time is a 12 hour difference to Hong Kong
• Small towns are not created equal... some are way cooler than others

I'm here for one quick day and then I'm off to Texas on Sunday. Should be another great trip! And don't worry, I'll be back in time for the Easter Sunrise Service at 6 AM! Be there. Westminster Chapel in Bellevue :) How's that for a shameless plug?

Back from the (nearly) dead

Wow, this week flew by in a blurry mess of stomach flu, sleep, exhaustion, starvation, work overload, and now... almost rest.

Sunday, 5:30 pm - Raced home from the store and ran to the bathroom. Threw up three times.

Sunday, 9 pm - Still throwing up... dang it, i may never be able to eat Cheeze Its again

Monday, 1 am - Will I ever stop throwing up? Made a make-shift bed in the bathroom

Monday, 4 am - So tired. More vomit. I'm so dehydrated.

Monday, 5:30 am - Last round of stomach flu... wow, i never knew the body could be so sore. What a work out.

Monday, 6:05 am - Skype Jesse... what a mess i am. Am i going to live?

Monday, 10 am - Dad to the rescue with Pedialite, 7up, soup and crackers!

Monday - Tuesday - Sleep like a dead woman... only waking up for a little drink of pedialite

Wednesday, 10 am - Oh yeah, i have to drop by work... but i'm still so exhausted...

Wednesday, 3 pm - Back in bed. Eyes shut and...

Thursday, 7 am - Roll out of bed after skyping Jesse... off to a hellish day at work. Am i really leaving for three weeks on Sunday to train CSRs across the country?

Thursday, 9pm - Just leaving the Apple Store after 2 excruciating hours of hopeless Mac issues... soooooo tired.... and... asleep

Friday - Finally prepared for my 3 week travel adventure for work! Feeling 90% better! Leaving Sunday and ready (dare i say it?) for anything!

PS: Thank you so much to those who prayed for me all week! I desperately needed it! The stomach flu kicked my butt to the ground. Made for one of the most challenging weeks of my life. So thank you for the prayers and thoughts!

Love Already Won

Rob Bell recently came out with a new book titled, "Love Wins. A Book About Heaven, Hell and the Fate of Every Person Who Ever Lived." The premise resides around the afterlife. When we die, we will either go to Heaven or Hell. However, Rob Bell believes that in Hell, we will still have the option to find salvation in Jesus. Ultimately, he's proclaiming that "hell" may not even be a physical place. He's proclaiming that God's love is so great that he will pursue those who are lost in Hell until each of them chooses Him. For those who do not know, this is untraditional Christian thought. So much so, that Rob Bell is being labeled as a heretic by some. Perhaps he is. Perhaps he is not. I'm not here to label anyone. But I do have thoughts that I need to get out. So here goes...

Rob Bell, you ask, "Who says that God can't pursue people's hearts even after our physical death?"

Good point. We don't know the answers to the afterlife. We can only rest in 100% confidence in the knowledge that there is an afterlife and what we do in this life effect where we will go when we die... Heaven (whatever that means, with Jesus) or Hell (whatever that means, without Jesus).

Maybe God will save sinners in the afterlife... but what if he doesn't?

How can someone be sure that there will still be a chance in the afterlife to ask for forgiveness and live with Jesus? We can't be sure. I think its awfully foolish to wait for an option that may never be available. Maybe it will be. But why put all your eggs in a basket that may have a huge, gapping hole in it? Why deny love now?

I think the right questions to ask is, "What are we going to do in this life time that will make lasting impact for God's glory now?"

The Bible says eternity is now. We must live in that truth. We must live with eternal minds now. What happens today, in this moment, will have lasting impact. Therefore, I will focus my heart on loving God, living for Him, making Him my savior every day, doing what I can to save more of God's people now, and to bring God glory all the days of my life... on earth and in heaven. This is my mission.

I will not wait or rest on a possibility that may not exist... and I believe that this idea may cause people to wait. We must not stray. We must hold on to the truths that the Bible proclaims. God is Lord. Jesus is Savior. And we each have the choice to put our faith in Him and live in Freedom form our bondage, today.

You see, Love already won.

Love already beat death. Love already offers the gift of salvation and freedom to each and everyone of us NOW. It is our simple choice... today and tomorrow... to choose to live in Freedom, or not.

I think we put God in a box whenever we say "this is how God is. and this is how God does things." Yes, God is love. But perhaps giving us a chance on earth to proclaim God's glory and accept the gift of Jesus' death and resurrection that saves us from our sins is love enough. Who can say there is any bigger expression of love than that? Why are we always looking for something else? Something that makes that simple fact better, as if anything more than that could be better?

Rob Bell, yes it is ok to ask questions and ponder the unknowns. I myself wonder what Heaven will be like... if there really are streets of gold, and what worship will look like when we get to be with the Lord. But I will not stand for you labeling how God chooses to love or proclaim ideas that we have no way of knowing if they are truth. They may be... who knows? But that's just it... no one knows.

God says... "I Am who I Am." That is all we need to know. Now is the time to trust. Now is the time to believe. Now is the time to make eternal decisions.

Please don't wait on any idea that may just be that... an idea. Please, make your decisions on truth, now.