The Fear of Success

Failure. What a strange word. Whenever I say or think about the word "failure," its like a cloud comes to rest over my head. I feel defeat. I feel inadequate. I have an acute understanding - because I have felt it in my own life. 

But when I really stop to think, and to listen, I have to ask... is there really such a thing as failure?

What I mean is that if we are learning from our encounters with "failure" then are we ever really failing in the first place? And if what we learn from our initial lack of success propels us toward success, then don't we owe it to ourselves and to our initial "failure" to rejoice over those times when we fall? Shouldn't we come to expect that our initial inability to find the right path will only lead us to the right one?

That is, I should say, only if we let it.

So many people fear failure. We fear the inability of meeting our goals, of not being able to finish what we started and of looking stupid because of it. 

It is in fact our own innate fear of failure and knowing disaster that crushes our opportunity to succeed... to discover that right path... to make a leap in the right direction... to be willing to take a risk and to jump into the unknown...

These are the things that bind us and restrict us from being all that we were created to be. Sometimes we must fall in order to see how not to fall. Sometimes we must be humbled to see the pride that constricts the heart from loving. 

If we really want to experience true life... experience true freedom... then we must not be afraid of "failure." We must not be afraid to try. Or else we will never go anywhere. Instead we will be left in the place where we began, too afraid - and too prideful - to take a risk that could cause complete disaster but could lead to complete success.

----

Honda (yes, Honda... I know... kind of strange that I'm posting this) is doing a mini series on The Power of Dreams. Hear what they have to say about failure. Makes you think a little...

Its A Climbing Matter

July 26th.

Not just any old day. It is the day that I, along with eight of my friends, will be climbing Mount Saint Helens. For reals people.

Despite the fact 

that St. Helens is an active volcano, 

that we may be exposing ourselves to volcano hazards that may occur without warning, 

that this climb involves gaining 4,500 feet in a mere five mile climb (crazy!!), 

and that it is supposed to take roughly 7-12 hours to complete,

I AM SO EXCITED!

The crater rim stands at 8,365 feet and that is where I will be on July 26th!

---

Also - side note - is it weird that I am becoming "saying-hi-as-we-pass-by-friends" with a construction worker that I walk past every day on my way to work?? I mean, we can't help but acknowledge each other, right? We literally do see each other every day. Wouldn't it be mean to ignore him after all this time?

I don't know.

A Drop. A Change. Issues Remembering.

Last night, I'm walking to my car while replying to a text on my phone. I push send, fumble with my keys, and then it happens... I drop my phone onto concrete and watch as pieces fly everywhere.

Seriously the worst slow motion scene to witness.

Ugh. I reassemble the sim card, battery, outside casing and turn my phone back on. Please be working!! The screen on the front of the "flip" turns on! YES! I see a new text waiting for me! Then I flip it open... and all I see is a white screen starring back at me. Oh gosh. 

So the front works but the main screen doesn't? Please no! I don't have anyone's phone number memorized other than my parent's home number! So, I call them to see if my phone is working. It is. I say hello. My dad says good luck. I say thank you and good bye. I see on the front "working" screen that I have another text. I think I know who it is from. Luckily I know how my phone works. I push the correct buttons to "view" the text and then press the call button. The call goes through. Explaining my predicament, I decide...

I must get a new phone. 

So... I do.

Now I have a new phone. It's a fairly good phone. Happens to be green and grey. Kinda cool. Kinda different. Something new. Something to get used to. This morning I didn't recognize the new alarm and woke up VERY late for work. That will have to get remedied somehow. For some reason it occasionally turns off randomly by itself. Not sure what that's all about yet. But the worst part about getting a new phone is...

I have lost all of the dates and events on my calendar.

This happens to be a big deal. You see, I have a significantly unreliable memory. And in fact, I use my phone calendar as my planner. But now I've lost it all. Of course I remember the important dates like when I am climbing Mount St. Helens in the summer and what my plans are for this weekend. But what about next weekend? I don't know! I have no idea if I've already made plans! And when am I supposed to watch Roscoe (my dog) for my parents when they go out of town? Its in April, but when?! And just last Monday some of my friends and I scheduled a bunch of events for the summer... but I don't remember what they are or when they are!

So, all of this to say, if I've scheduled something with you... if I've actually committed and said yes I'll be there... please let me know when and where I will be and what I'll be doing...

Because I just don't remember.

Thanks.

What the Snow?!

I woke up this morning late again. Gasp! Why do I always do this to myself? Its just so cozy and warm lying under the covers. That's my excuse anyway. 

Well, I quickly got ready (like seriously in record speed) and turned to my closet to decide what to wear - ending up on leggings and a dress with cute flats to pull it all together. That's what I call conformable work-wear. No high heels. No button-up shirts. Just comfortable and cute.

Anyway, I ran upstairs and grabbed my lunch. Then, looking at the clock, I realized there was only one minute to spare before the bus would arrive! I high-tailed it down my stairs and opened the door to find that

it snowed.

Oh gosh. Great. Here I am in my cute little flats with leggings and a dress AND IT SNOWED! Note to self... cute flats plus leggings plus dress does NOT equal good outfit choice for snow. 

-----

I sat next to a woman on the bus that I believed to be homeless. Her clothing and "accessories" seemed to confirm my inclination. But then she pulled out an iPhone. Now I'm just confused.

-----

So, the reason I had to make the early bus this morning was because I had a conference call scheduled for 8am. Well, I made it to work by 7:30am so I could prepare for the call. 

But then, 8am roles around... they aren't ready. 

8:10am shows its face. Still not ready. 

8:25am meets me with an email asking if we can reschedule the meeting for tomorrow. 

Wow. All the morning fuss for nothing. That makes me feel real good. Thanks.

-----

The only thing I'm really excited about today is that I have a soccer game in the evening. And it is going to be good. We are going to win. I guess it is going to be a good day after all.

Plus, I do still like what I'm wearing despite the fact that it probably wasn't the best weather choice. Oh well. Worse things have happened before.

Happy Monday :)

Redeeming Eve

Redeeming Eve is a young women's conference unlike any other. Yep - indeed it is.

Overly emotional, dramatic and manipulative are common words used to describe women every day.

Society has twisted God's perfect purpose for women. But in the beginning, God stretched out his hand and created Eve as his finishing touch on the world. God expressed his beauty, relational identity, love and redemption through Eve and continues to do so in every woman today.

Come join us at Westminster Chapel, in Bellevue, WA from March 6-7 for a weekend to discover who God is, who you were created to be and how God desires you to relate to your family, friends and yes... boys.

---

Two years ago, my small group decided we needed to provide an avenue for young women to talk about and wrestle with real-life stuff. How does God want young women to relate to boys? What if they have already gone to far? How are they to learn tools and resources to get back on track and begin making wise decisions? Are they really supposed to relate to their parents at this time in their lives? What if they don't respect their parents? Do their parents even deserve respect? What about the friend who has an eating disorder? Or the friend who is mad for no apparent reason... what should be done about that? What is God's role in their life? Can He really help with all struggles? Can they really turn everything over to Him? And even if the desire is there, do they know how to begin trusting Him? These are all serious questions. And they seriously need answers.

That is when we decided to create the Redeeming Eve conference for young women. Last year's conference was truly life changing - not only for the girls involved, but for us as leaders too. God showed up in some amazing ways. One was through our main speaker, Mike Olson - a principal at Bellevue Christian School who has been teaching relationship classes their for quite some time. At the end of last year's conference, God made it extremely obvious that this wasn't going to be a one-time event. He fully intends to use this conference to dispel Satan's lies and shed light to His truth in a real way.

And so, Redeeming Eve 2009 is almost upon us. 

I invite you to pray for this year's conference and the girls who will be going. I ask you to pray for their hearts - that they would be open and ready to hear all that God intends for them. Pray against Satan's desire to keep girls from going - especially in this time of economic downturn. Pray that this year's conference would be everything that God intends it to be... and that those planning and leading it would not get in His way, but would create space for the Holy Spirit to move. 

I also encourage you to invite friends, sisters, nieces, or grandchildren to attend this event. It was life changing last year and I have no doubt that it will be again this year. 

For more information, or to register, visit www.westminster.org/youth.

Thanks!

PS... Potato Conquered!

Oh... PS... I tried baking another potato... and was SUCCESSFUL!!! So good!!

Now I'm really starting to believe that I can do this thing called cooking... well, maybe :)

Tuesdays with Dawn

I am having a good day! It is sunny outside, we won our soccer game yesterday (3-1), and despite the fact that I had to stand on the bus on my way to work at 7am this morning, I am doing great!

----

Sometimes I wish that we could take other people's pain away - with a simple snap of our fingers or a single word said with authority. However, we cannot. We do not have the authority or ability to make every sad feeling in the world transform into overwhelming joy. We cannot make our friends stop hurting over loss and feelings of abandonment. We are stuck in our humanness so utterly and completely.

But we can love like we've never loved before. We can shower the world with uplifting words of encouragement. We can extend acts of grace and kindness. In all these things, we can help others remember and FEEL that they are LOVED... and not just by us... but by many others and by the Lord. 

Above all things, our love is what sets us apart from other living things. We have hearts of empathy and forgiveness. Of logic and reason. And an ability to choose love before we choose hate. For we were created in his perfect image, and in doing so, the love within us that only comes from Him - and is of Him - gives way to freedom. Freedom from the lies of this world. Freedom from the bondage of pain and suffering.  Freedom from internal conflict and restraint from being all we were created to be. It reveals truth and extends love. 

Its called Freedom in Christ. 

I am learning that this is the only way I can live - I must choose Freedom - and so, today at least, I do.