Am I going crazy?

Oh my gosh... I can't decide if I'm losing my mind or if I'm finally finding a remedy for my deep need for some puppy love... like the real puppy love... the kind that licks and wiggles and runs like the wind until he can't any longer and collapses in a heap of exhaustion and joy.

The remedy you ask? Well... I'm not really sure if I should admit this... but I will...

I just emailed a company in Greenlake that runs a dog day care/over-night boarding facility and offered to VOLUNTEER my time.

That's right. Volunteer. Free of charge. No money required. I just want to play with their dogs... maybe take one for a walk or run... simply love them a little. Because, I just want a dog so bad, and I know I can't have one, so perhaps this will remedy my heartache for a puppy of my own for a while.

We'll see what they say. I hope they at least want to meet me... because I'm pretty sure once they do, they'll see how utterly OBSESSED I am with dogs and will let me stop by from time to time to play.

And if they don't... well then I'm back to square one and may end up with a little pup of my own sometime soon... because I just can't say "no" forever...

Simple Ramblings

• Remember in your pre-adolescent past when you longed for a puppy? Remember how it consumed your every thought as life simply hung on the edge of need as the longing grew deeper and deeper? Well, I've discovered that puppy syndrome is contagious in adults too. Crazy. Maybe I've read Where the Red Fern Grows too many times... or maybe I simply need to give in... for now I'm holding on to someday.
• How are you supposed to deal with feelings of disrespect? Feelings of being unappreciated and taken advantage of? Especially when you can't do anything about it? Makes you want to just stay home and watch Millionaire Matchmaker... yep, its that depressing. Ha. I'm holding on for something better.
• Variety is the spice of life. Seriously. Without possibility of un-sameness, life would be consumingly boring and unfulfilling and dry and... well... dead. Therefore, I will never surround myself with sameness.
• I just bought some girl scout cookies... and I'm excited :)
• My knee continues to heal. But I wore heels to an event the other night and ruined it again. It hurts. It needs to get better. I have mountains to climb this summer.
• Friendlies are the best thing in life. I am consumed by gratitude and thankfulness for the friendlies in my life. Without them I would be lost.
• It is Thursday... Friday tomorrow... and then the weekend. Oh happy weekend! You came so fast. Thank you.

PS: I'm Excited to Watch This Guy Over the Weekend! We make a great team together, he and I

Leaps and Bounds Required

I think out of all the various "feelings" out there, discouragement has got to be one of the very worst that we can feel.

It saps energy, makes things seem impossible, and leaves one feeling inhibited and trapped by circumstance. It really just sucks. And I must admit that lately, discouragement has been knocking at my door... and the door keeps creeping open.

You see, I hurt my knee snowshoeing two weeks ago. It hasn't really gotten better, so yesterday I went to physical therapy for it. My doctor (is that what they're called? or is it physical therapist? but that's too long.. so i'll stick with doc) said that there's a 25% chance that I tore my lateral meniscus... which for those who don't know... would mean surgery and a very long recovery. Talk about discouragement for someone who thrives on being active... walking, running, hiking, soccer, tapping my foot, jumping up and down in excitement... well, you get the picture. I'm an active person and perpetual movement is what I do. So, not being able to move is slightly suffocating.

The silver lining though, is that there's only a 25% chance that I tore my meniscus. Therefore, the plan is to go through 6-8 weeks of PT and if there's progressive healing, then we'll assume it wasn't a tear. However, if it stays the same or gets worse, then I'll have to get an MRI to confirm one way or the other... and then based on that... possible surgery. But let's not think about that... again, the door is creeping open and I'm doing my very best to keep it shut.

I think the hardest part about my knee is that its causing more stress in my life. On top of that, I'm starting to study for the GMAT and the math section is REALLY stressing me out (because I just suck at it... no seriously, this is not a joke... I suck at math). And all this stress has to go somewhere. Usually, I just run my stress out. But because I can't... its just kind of sitting, brewing, stagnating, intoxicating my life and I don't know how to get rid of it. If you have any ideas, I'd love to hear them. Let's get creative together on this. Otherwise this whole discouragement door is going to swing wide open and will swallow me up. Hmm... I'd really rather avoid that if possible :)

Ok, so my whine-fest is done for the day. My debbie-downerness will be replaced by crazy positive-dawnerness. How's that for a good plan?

And PS: Just for the record, I hate baby steps. I'm working for leaps and bounds here.

Tooo AWESOME not to post

Soooooo.... check out this video... random? Absolutely. But, who do you recognize? Or should I say, who's VOICE do you recognize? Ha!

What can I say? This is just part of the freelance I do on the side (well at least the script writing... this is the first time I've ever done the voice part)... you know, totally normal :) At least it helps pay the bills! yes!

My ultimate nemesis

Well, its true. I've begun the long, grueling road to the GMAT... aka, the standardized test from hell that is required for enrollment and therefore, acceptance, into pretty much any graduate business school. Blah.

Remember the SAT's? Well, i'll have you know that I didn't even study for them. I figured that going in cold turkey would be the way to do it. If I got a good score then I wouldn't have to worry about it anymore, and if I didn't, well then at least I'd know how to study for the test. Just so happens, I got a good - not great - score which allowed me to get into UW (the only college I ever applied to... good thing I got in).

The GMAT, however, is another story.

It is my ultimate nemesis. No joke. One third writing, one third reading/verbal and one third... MATH.

Oh dear God, help me.

Let me put this is perspective for you... the last math class I took was SIX years ago. And what do I do for my job?? Marketing... translation: I spend my entire life writing, dealing with words, thoughts, ideas, creation, implementation, communication... NOT MATH.

Again, may I say... Oh dear God, help me.

This is why I'm studying... and praying... so that I might get a decent score on the GMAT which will hopefully help me get into at least UW. But where do my dreams really lie? STANFORD.

Again, OH DEAR GOD, HELP ME PLEASE.

Oh how I dream of going to Stanford for my MBA! It would be amazing. UC Berkeley would be pretty amazing too... however, both schools require outrageous GMAT scores, grades and applications. But I have good grades from college and applications are my forte (perhaps I'm just a little too over-confident in those areas?). But the real test is the GMAT. Everything depends on it. And that makes me nervous, a little intimidated... and on the brink of almost being discouraged by it.

But, I'm taking the bull by the horn. I have to. It's about reaching for a dream... doing everything you can to catch it... and that takes sacrifice, discipline and risk. This is a big risk.

For now, the studying begins and I'll forever be holed up in a coffee shop figuring out how long it will take Jennifer, Max and Steve to paint a house together if Jennifer can in 5 hours, Max can in 9 hours and Steve can in 4 hours...

I can do this. I can do this. I can do this... Dear God, please help me do this.

Gotta love the things that can hurt

So, I discovered something last weekend that will most likely change my life... I love snowshoeing!

This really shouldn't come as a surprise since I love all things outdoors... but for some reason, I am surprised by it. But it is just wonderful friends. Especially since it requires getting outside during the dreary and dark months that are ever so painful to get through. Snowshoeing will make it easier.

But, unfortunately, even though i've discovered this new love of mine, it hurt me. Like literally. Last weekend I sprained my knee coming down from McClellen Butte. And it still hurts. And the doctor said it's gonna take about 3-5 weeks to heal completely. Really? Seriously, I cannot handle 3 WEEKS of sitting on my butt doing nothing, let alone 5 WEEKS. But, for now I'm trying to survive... even though i'm already feeling antsy inside and want to get out and do something active at least. Oh well. I suppose it really could be much worse...

Well, I guess that's the update for now... but I will leave you with one question... do you remember this???? All I can say is, thank you 90's...