Contently discontent

Contentment: happiness with one's situation in life.

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I am a type seven. Yep. According to the enneagram test of personality, that's me. Which is ironically perfect since seven is my favorite number...

But let's see... what do you think? Am I extroverted? Optimistic (overly perhaps)? Versatile, spontaneous, playful, high-spirited, and yet practical too? Yep. I think so. Constantly seeking new and exciting experiences and having problems with impatience and impulsiveness... this describes me. And, guess what the basic desire of a type seven is? To be satisfied and content.

So true. Oh, so true.

The problem is that a type seven "does not feel that they can find what they really want in life." Quite the problem if you ask me... The thorn in my flesh, if you will. I often feel discontent; wanting more and feeling unsatisfied with where I'm at in life. But, I am learning that right now in my life, it is okay to feel this way. I don't have to have it all right now. And therefore, I am resting in the fact that I can be content with being discontent.

And, you know what? There's power and freedom in the realization that contentment can co-exist with my discontent. And it's amazing how being okay with that reality pushes my dissatisfaction with life into the background and removes its power to control and restrict... leaving the space to live in the present with joy and meaning. (Hmm... something to think about a little more)

Oftentimes, it seems like Christians are given a list of do's and don'ts... feelings that are okay to have, and one's that are not. Discontentment - or being unsatisfied with life - is always found under the "bad" list. But, I don't think it has to be. I'm not entirely sure that Jesus meant for us to always be 100% happy or satisfied. And I don't think He was. Perhaps we need to struggle with life and opposing dichotomies in order to stretch our feeble minds outside of our way of thinking into Jesus' way of thinking. And if that's the case, then I will remain contently discontent. Because I know that there is more to this life... but I also know that Jesus has perfect timing... and that I do not.

Waiting for God's best. It's not a type seven thing to do... but I'm going to try to do it anyway...